After suffering a stroke at the age of 47 I have a new view on life
& how it should run.
I truly believe the world would function much better
if everyone considered my opinion.
And most importantly in my world I am Royal
Spring is finally here. I am so excited I just love Spring and Easter is my favorite holiday. As you could have guessed from the title or my choice of pictures... Tulips and Hyacinths are my most favorite Spring Flowers. You usually can't grow them here because our Winter doesn't get cold enough for a long enough period of time. However yours truly refuses to give up and every year I will buy those leftover flowers after Easter that need a little love *usually 25 cents or so LOL* plant them and enjoy them for a few weeks. I never pull up their bulbs in the hopes that maybe just maybe next year they'll come back. Well Florida had a doozy of a winter and not only did I have a Hyacinth in the back yard but I have the makings of 3 Tulips popping their long leaves through the dirt in the front. Also an Easter Lily has decided to join in the fun ~~ Woo hoo. I didn't get to enjoy the Deep Blue Hyacinth for long as it bloomed just before my 3 week detour :0(
OK the real reason I started off all springy is my heart is just broken today. We only got to have Emily home for about 60 hours and the trip back was honestly just not an option. I went with Michael to bring her home Wednesday/Thursday. We didn't do much of anything Wednesday but drive to just outside of Pensacola ~ Exit 56 and spent the night. The hotel had a really late checkout ~ noon. So we milked that. Shopped a little at Target and the Dollar Tree picking some fun things up for Em's room. Then we hung out at Buffalo's Wild Wings for over 90 minutes waiting on her flight to land. Picked her up, loaded the car. Got something to eat and drove home. Mind you that I did none of the driving. OMG exhausted doesn't even come close to how I felt Friday. And Saturday. And the better part of Sunday as well.
Not driving Emily back just feels so wrong. I know it is great the she and Michael got to have that time together but! That's all... BUT. That's my thing. That's my time with her. The 2 days flew by so fast I didn't have any time to talk with her. I didn't even get to look at the papers she brought home. I just didn't :0( We really tried to cram a lot in here at home. We had a wonderful dinner Friday night with Pat and Jane McSweeney. They brought over a Corned Beef Dinner with the works so we could have a belated SPD. We truly laughed until 11pm when Jane finally mentioned she had to go to work the next morning. Saturday we dragged ourselves out of the house around noon to do some b'day shopping for Meg. She wanted a new Bible and I believe especially at her age that's a very personal thing and wanted her to have exactly what she wanted. Then we went out for an early b'day lunch... Mellow Mushroom (Meg's favorite). After a quick stop at the Library we headed home and I was so tired Michael took the girls out shopping for their Easter Dresses. (Translation: He was at Chili's and the girls shopped) Dinner was provided by a couple from church.... If you have never had Grasshopper Pie you need to get yourself some soon!!. We watched 2 movies... I crashed.
It was 1030 before I was actually ready to move. We just made it to The Pig for bfast....sooo good. We had a blast, Patrick providing entertainment as usual over the silliest things which when written out just lose their humor. Back home the car was packed in 10 minutes and Michael, Emily and Patrick were gone. They dropped Patrick at a friend's so he could spend the night and go to DA tomorrow. So 12noon it is just Meg and I. She's fighting a cold and a bit draggy so we just watched a movie. We went to Beta (Thanks Leona for driving) came home and played games.
OK bad mom confession.... I had a blast with MaryEllen we played games for over 2 hours. No TV on. No music blaring just us laughing having fun and I loved it. It really wasn't where I wanted to be. I wanted to be in Mobile giving Emily one last hug. I don't know that I'll be able to drive back in April for her Opera as I originally planned. I'm pretty sure I will but for the first time ever I can't make that promise. AND IT IS KILLING ME!!! I have always been the one she can depend on. Even during our turbulent period back when she turned 14 it was me who was at everything. UGGHH I swear I can just feel the stress of this building in my body. In fact earlier while Meg and I were watching You Again (Good Movie) I kept thinking oh they'll be in Tallahassee soon and they'll call. As time went on and they didn't call I felt my chest get tight....WHAT AM I Doing to MYSELF? Am I really this stupid? Harsh reality is .....Yes I am.