March 1, 2011

Survival Day One

I have been trying to think how I should approach this whole rehab/therapy thing. It certainly isn't a mini vacation or a trip to a spa.  But then again I don't really have any true responsibilities while I am here. Let's face it I'm not even the primary parent for the moment which really is the weirdest thing.  Even during my last hospitalizations I was orchestrating everything family-wise from bedside.  Hubby has now entered the world of single parenting teenagers....maybe he should be blogging lol.
But really the point of rehab is for the patient to focus only on healing.  Whether it is a physical, emotional or even addictive recovery rehab the idea is for your world to truly revolve around you. For most of us, and I think especially moms, that thought process is just so foreign to our innate instinct it feels corrupt.  Sure we  all have a way of finding a momentary escape.  For some it is exercising, others escaping to a book, your favorite drink at Starbucks or even something as simple as always having your favorite shampoo despite the cost. So here you are now, rarely without warning, thrown into an environment where you expect everyone and everything to revolve around your goal being achieved.  I deeply believe it will take a few days to even fully accept that concept. 
I was just talking with the patient advocate and as she simply put it...All of these therapists, doctors, nurses and the rest of the staff including me have one basic connecting idea...get Bren home.  OF course this is a huge facility and there are other patients here however during my 3 hours of therapy everyday I am the sole focus of that specialist.  The dietitian reviews my meals daily to see if it meets my swallow standards and also will attend a weekly meeting with my therapists to work towards increasing my abilities.  My nurses and their assistants are also given directives as to how much to allow me to do for myself and when those responsibilities increase. 
As I was going through all of my evaluations today I was asked the same question to which I replied.... I will be home by March 16th.  Two of them said that they were never given such a clear directive and if I was willing to work harder than most I could probably achieve it.  So without even realizing it I had created my survival plan....it very simply put is to escape!!
FYI: March 16th isn't an arbitrary date.  Miss E comes home from her week mission trip to Anchorage on March 17th.  We have not seen her since she returned to school in January so we are truly excited to see her.  I will be at the airport to greet her~there is no other option.

I do have to tell you a main reason I can be so self-focused is due to my church family.   I am so undeservedly blessed by my family of New Grace Church.  We aren't a tiny church where everyone knows everyone but we are small in sense of community.  The complete enveloping of my family by our church family is nothing less than astonishing.  Between getting kids to school early or making sure they doesn't miss bible study to friends offering to do food shopping they have stepped into every corner of our lives.  And here I need to just lift up Alison H.  She has arranged our meals using the coolest website: http://www.takethemameal.com/ .  I remember organizing meals pre-internet, then through emails now it is a click of a button.  How great is technology but how even greater is Alison who found this and organized its use for my family!  I've included the link so those of you who do the same things in your community can take advantage of this great free resource.  To see it at work type in my last name with the following code 9650 and while there you can drool over the food my family is receiving!

So the total idea of coming here and being almost narcissistic is going to help my escape plan work...I mean my recovery program be successful.

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