I came home on Ash Wednesday. I thought attending service would be a smart way to ease into going out and such. Why didn't anyone stop me. Probably because I was quite adamant about it. hmm. My reasoning was that the crowd at church would be lighter than on a Sunday as well as a shorter service. Makes sense right! How clueless I can be sometimes. Of course it had to rain last night. Thankfully there is a side door barely 10 feet from a drop off point so minimal walking there. We arrived early so I could get settled in and such. Then the reality of seeing everyone was so overwhelming. Feeling their love and prayers was just incredible. That was great while I was sitting down. However I had to go for the ashes and I felt all the eyes on me. Watching every step I took behind my walker (yes this is my perception) uggh it was horrible. I felt so awkward and then wanted to leave but of course there was no way to do that inconspicuously. Communion was no better as I had trouble balancing to receive communion which was really stupid as I have truly pretty much mastered that skill before I left~balancing that is. It was great to be out of the house and be with my family but not the smartest thing I have done. I had Michael leave after communion so he could have the van waiting outside for a quick get away(well my version of quick anyway). By now it was pouring and well let's just say getting into the van was not one of my most graceful moments.
Sleeping alone for almost 3 weeks in a specialized hospital bed then coming home to our 10+year beat up mattress...let's just say we both have to get used to sharing a bed again. Plus the puppies need their space..
I can't say I was surprised that MaryEllen stayed home today, I was actually kind of expecting it. I was glad to have her here and not be by myself the first day. Simple things have to be rethought. Like how do you walk and carry a drink if both of your hands have to be on your walker??? While I can manage in the kitchen due to its' tininess how do I bring a plate of food to the table??? Are you sensing a theme here...I can eat what I want when I want. OK not really but you know what I'm saying right. If you're a mom you'll get this...I'm used to a parade following me to the bathroom but now when the dogs give up b/c it is taking too long to get there and well that's just not encouraging. Treasure attempted to scoot past me once...she won't be doing that again. I'm not sure who was more scared me or her. I did make it outside today. MaryEllen and I went to the mailbox~which is across the street. OK how do I carry mail back? I'm thinking I need a basket on the front of my walker. Remember the kind little girls used to have on their bikes. They were white "wicker" plastic and usually had 3 flowers on them>> yeah not happening. I just think that I need to get rid of this walker ASAP. That solves all the problems.
OK here's another thing you take for granted....Bathing. All I am going to say is this. Shower chairs ~not so much fun.
So I'm headed into bed...hopefully the walker won't bump into the bed and wake Michael.
Tomorrow starts Therapy, at least 2 of them. I have Physical and Speech back to back in the same facility, a satellite of Brooks... OOOO wonder if I'll see any 5's around the place LOL
Then it is off to see Rango with Karen...soooooooo excited.
Home 36 hours