There were no cheerleaders :0(

     Do you ever over estimate what you can do?  Or think how hard can that be?? Only to be way off base!  That was my Sunday.  We planned on going to church coming home for lunch then Michael would drive the kids to Youth Quake Rehearsal and when that was done drop Meg at church for play rehearsal come home to get me and we'd all go to Beta.  SOOOO not what happened.  Having been out of the loop for 3 weeks I didn't know that there was a parenting seminar starting after church.  Em and I attended it this summer and I knew Michael would appreciate it.  (Science and Christianity and such).  Lunch was included so I thought well this just made our day easier we'll all head to YQL from here, Michael and I will just hang out at Panera's for the 2 hours and come back.  That doesn't sound very hard or taxing, now does it.  Unfortunately lunch was subs...still having trouble with bread and proteins and salad sooo yeah no.  We left church at 1 dropped the kids off a little before 2.  Headed to Panera but side tracked to Jason's deli where I picked apart a sandwhich and had a great soup.  We just hung out, got ready for the Beta class that night then got the kids.  Back to church (now it is 440)  Beta starts at 5 but by the time we park and I drag myself in it's almost time.  Dinner is included (not really hungry but our leader was so excited to see us and had our plates ready)  Again couldn't really eat much of it but made a showing.  Beta runs til 7pm.  So if you've kept up with this..... We left the house a little after 10 and we got home...close to 8!!  I could barely walk in the door I was so tired.  I did feel bad that Michael had to go back and get Patrick from Youth.
    SO Monday was the first day I've really been on my own.  I knew not to plan to overdo things.  Didn't matter I was so wiped from Sunday there wasn't a chance of much happening anyway.  I did figure out a few things on my own.... I always have a water bottle for whatever I want to drink..... I made lunch then put it in a tupperware container and tossed that onto the table....You really shouldn't eat out of the fridge just b/c you don't want to think about how in the world am I going to get this to the table (yeah made a rule of no more doing that LOL)
     Despite being tired I was determined to do something.....why not wash!  So I got the first load going and thought I'll get another load together.  I love throws on my couch and I KNOW they haven't been washed in 3+ weeks so got those together (did you know you can hang 8 of them on a walker and still maneuver it...9 just won't do).  We have a washer with a digital timer and I was basing my afternoon nap on when the first load was done and I could get the second load in.  I promise you I swear the washer ran an extra spin on purpose!!! Like I've mentioned previously I am pretty good at balancing which was helpful as my walker won't fit in the laundry room with both washer and dryer doors opened.  So ok first load transfered...second load in (love my washer as 8 throws fit!)  Nap time.....which meant Sherlock Holmes and Robert Downey Jr!! Sweet Dreams!!  Then I realized something just didn't seem right.  There were no cheerleaders!!  Just last week when I folded laundry or hung up a shirt I received accolades.....where were they today?????  IT just wasn't the same without the pep talks :0(
    I completely misfigured everything and wound up laying down a mere 30/40 minutes before michael came home... ie no nap.  I think I have discovered a new state of consciousness or lack there of.  I have noticed when I really get into sleep mode.  I mean really...your body's relaxed, the temp is just right, you have the pillows placed perfectly... into sleep mode. AND THEN you don't get to sleep??? I know we have all experienced this.  I believe our brains never fully give up.  No I'm serious.  I believe that our brains think if they just hold onto this notion of a nap that eventually it will convince the rest of our bodies to follow suit!  Don't you agree?  Now I know part of this is my constant companion CFS... or for those of you who haven't been formally introduced... Chronic Fatigue Syndrom.  But this is different.  All I could think about today was those days as kids when we'd fall asleep out back on the porch.  Or during breaks at SUNY Geneseo when everyone would study on blankets out on the Tundra and crash.  Those completely restful peaceful moments.... ohhh how I want to sleep like that.
   Well I never got my nap but i did finish a puzzle and had a wonderful dinner of BBQ Beans and Mac N Cheese.... I did eat a little of the BBQ Brisket tonight woo hoo.

    I still think my day would have been even better if I had a nap and Laundry Cheerleaders :0)

Rockin and Rollin

Well I am getting more mobile...kinda.  They have taken away my wheelchair and given me a walker.  Freedom yeah!! But here's the thing: I get so tired after a bit of walking is it really more freedom?  And how am I supposed to go downstairs and borrow a puzzle for my room if both my hands are on my walker...oh the tragedy of it all.  Honestly when they said they were taking the wheelchair away did I think YEAH one step closer to going home or YEAH my left leg is bearing some weight? NO~ my first thought and question was.....Can I now go to the bathroom by myself!!!!!!!!!!

Lunch was sooo weird today.  My Speech Therapist said she wanted to eat lunch with me to see how my swallowing was going.  What I didn't realize is that her idea of eating lunch with me and mine were polar opposites.  What happened is she sat so she could see the side of my face/throat and actually watched me eat.  She wasn't eating at all.  We discussed  bite sizes and swallowing techniques, which was all very helpful.  However I felt like a lab rat.  Every time I picked something up all I could picture in my mind was a group of lab techs with their white coats and clip boards hmmming and ohhing and taking notes:

• Did you see her pick up that carrot, I wonder why she chose a carrot over the string bean?  
• That piece of chicken took her 10.4 seconds to chew whereas the last was only 9.87 should we be worried? 
• I'm not sure there was enough gravy on that bite.

She is really sweet but that was really weird.  How do you carry on a conversation when the person really doesn't want to talk with you but watch you eat?  Well hope my manners were up to par, though it is still weird eating right handed.

For those of you who really know me you are going to need to sit down before you continue reading.  I am serious SIT DOWN!  Hubby came to visit tonight and wound up crashing on my couch.  So what did I do to fill the time...Laundry.  And I have to tell you it is the first thing I have done is 2 weeks that has felt real which in turn felt good!  I know you are all falling over which is why I told you to sit down.  But you are going to love this.  I don't believe I am going to be able to do laundry at home for a while  (collective sigh please).  You see we have a front loader whose door opens to the left...into the doorway to the laundry room and this of course is right next to the dryer so transferring from one to another with a walker in this tight space is a logistical impossibility!! OH DARN...
Now I may be able to load the washer if someone puts the hamper high enough so I am not reaching to the ground to pull out the items.  I can however hang up and fold as that was my OT skill today.  OMG I discovered the coolest thing today.  I know why laundry can be so hum-drum.  We don't have personal cheer squads.  HUH?  Every time I buttoned a shirt or got something neatly on the hanger then onto the rack I got a "good-job" or "you're doing great" and when I finished, a true Woo-Hoo.  Imagine if you had a squad cheering you on while doing the Laundry??   This place is soo good for my self-esteem do I really want to leave Wednesday...CHA!!

I keep telling you that the world of Lady Bren rocks....Woo-Hoo   5 days and counting