It's February 12 not April 8

This year of firsts is absolutely overwhelming.   Yet it is tomorrow, February 12th, that I've been dreading the most.

Mummy please tell Daddy I'm scared

Dear Parents of Terrified Child:
   What makes you think that just because something is educational means it is appropriate for all ages?  AND just because there is a cartoon version that your child loves doesn't mean they will embrace reality in the same way.
   We spent almost an hour with you this past July as my family and I toured the Mummies of the World Exhibit at MOSI in Tampa.  My family, which included our daughters aged 15 and 20, absolutely loved it.  Like you, we chose to upgrade our tickets to include this private exhibit at the bequest of our daughter and I am so glad we did.  In the short hour that it took us to walk through the hall it seemed that at every turn I was learning something new.  Before that morning I didn't know that mummies first appeared in South America before the Middle East, did you?   Who knew that the oldest mummy found to date was from Chile?  We absolutely loved the 3-D and interactive displays where we learned how today's forensic science is revealing long hidden secrets that mummies once  held.  How cool is it to know that they are able to diagnosis causes of death as well as create a nutritional study for a person's lifetime?   The best part for us, at least, was that in addition to videos, spinning globes, and wonderful docents there were over 50 REAL MUMMIES.   Not only were they real but they out for the world to see and not hidden away in a sarcophagus.  The had mummies of cats, rabbits men, women and children; some clothed some not.
     So dear parents what possessed you to bring your pre-school aged child to this exhibit??  The rules we were read before entering should have been enough of a warning:

• no cell phones allowed
• no photography
• no bathroom
• dim lighting
• and NO RE-ENTRY

     In addition to a docent informing you of these rules we watched a 5 minute video about the exhibit.  This video informed us that while this is an exhibition the ultimate goal is to respect these individuals on display and to remember that they once had families and friends. After that video was over we entered the exhibit through dark curtains and came face to face with the first mummy.  We watched as your sweet little girl ran up to the case and peered in.  "What's that Daddy?"  "That's a mummy," you replied.  "Is it Real?" "Yes that is a real mummy?"  "Is it Dead?" "Yes, it is dead."
     At that point your daughter climbed your leg into your arm then buried her head so deep into your neck an ostrich would have been proud.  I truly need to know, what possessed you to continue with the exhibit?  Did you think things were going to get better?  Maybe you thought they would be prettier as if you were viewing the riches of Tutankhamen's tomb?  I really need to know.
     Throughout the entire exhibit we could hear your daughter squealing with fear, crying and asking you to please take her home.  More than once we witnessed you telling her that she wanted to come here and see the mummies so you were staying.  I know that we were really impressed that they had an actual page from  The Book Of The Dead on display but somehow I don't think your daughter felt the same.
     While we were learning from the docent how Egyptians would paint their bodies different colors so they could find them in the afterlife we also got to hear your daughter crying to your wife "Mommy tell Daddy I'm scared".  ~On a personal note:  I absolutely love this idea of painting your body so much that I am going to include in my will/funeral directions bottles of the exact color of nail polish to be used.  In addition there will be a can of spray paint for my cousin Nancy and her husband Gordon who also totally love this idea and have permission to spray my feet. (OK maybe you had to be there but I laughed over this for about a week and again just now)
   

  

After this last outburst my family could no longer bear to hear it any more and actually hung back a bit in hopes we wouldn't encounter y'all anymore.  How you handled seeing the nude mummies or the last exhibit of an entire family I do not know.  What I do know is this:    YOU sir are the parent.  And as such you have theright to say no when a child asks to do something which is above their true understanding, know this is different for every child..  Also as the parent it is your responsibility to research an exhibit such as this if you are taking your young child.  Oh look the museum has a link for families which was easy to find and called: Information for families.  Finally your response of "I paid for these tickets we are going to see the entire show"  truly has no meaning whatsoever to your child. My advice for the future is to show your daughter pictures on the computer or in a book.  Possibly do a side by side comparison between the TV character and reality. See if videos (like the one above) are available and then give it a few days to see how or even if she truly understand what the exhibit is about.
     Somehow though I think your daughter got the last laugh as I am pretty confident she didn't sleep very well that night ~ bless her heart.

~Sincerely,
Lady Bren

I must admit my kids and I loved this show

    

Saturday I almost forgot....it has been 3 weeks exactly

    
     We've all heard about situations whether real or in movies where someone has lost a limb yet experiences phantom pain.  I can truly relate to that in my own way.  There was a time or two Saturday when everything just seemed "normal".  As if my world hadn't been redefined by a walker or stutter.  Of course reality came crashing through but those moments felt almost ethereal.  We were watching Wild Wild West, a family fave despite its horrible reviews, and I wanted a drink.  Without thinking I started to move to get up as I would have and well my body didn't respond as it would've 3 weeks ago.  I'll admit it ruined the rest of my night.
     But let me back up and share my glorious day.  It started off really nice.  Michae,l Meg and I had b'fast at the Pig (Patrick was in Orlando at a Film/TV Conference for school).  From there we went to a Church Bazaar where I got a wardrobe for Em's room for only $5! It needs a ton of work but what a deal!  MaryEllen's friend was coming over~ it was going to be a great day.  Michael dropped me home and went back with the van to pick up the furniture.  While he was gone a salesman came to the door.  Now getting up to the door isn't my quickest move LOL.  He said I told him 2 weeks ago to come back...... um no I was in the hospital 2 weeks ago sorry.  He left and I went back into the other room and sat down.  His partner then came to the door....Ma'am your husband told us to come back.  I'm thinking no Michael would never think to buy one of those frozen meal plans (Schwann's excepted of course)  So I say no thank you...but of course not as elegantly as I'd like and stuttered almost every word :0(.  Now my screen door was open so I called out to him as I really didn't want to get up again for something I wasn't interested in.  Walking away he says/yells that lady's retarded she doesn't know what we're saying!! OH NO HE DIDN'T!!!!!  If I could have ran outside I would have...I got to the door as they were getting ready to pull out of the driveway and like one of those crazy people you hear about yelling at kids to stay off their lawns I start yelling at them.  I heard what you said and asked what company are you with....here's the intelligence of what I was dealing with...the answer given was a different steak company known in the area.  Their panel truck not only has the name on the front but a huge picture with the company's name on the side!!! The co-hort now is making rude gestures out the window as they drive away.  At first I felt so justified and confident then it all came crashing in on me.  He really thought I was retarded!  I know I was dealing with a sub-human but those words really really stung.  I needed to take control back so found the website and sent an email as there was no phone number posted.  This didn't do it.  It truly rocked my world.  Shortly after Michael came home with the furniture and the girls.  Thank heavens Kalla was with Meg as I think I would have just broke down and cried but didn't want to embarrass her. 
The diagnosis from my speech therapists is aphasia.  Aphasia is an acquired communication disorder that impairs a person's ability to process language, but does not affect intelligence. (Borrowed from a Speech Therapy website).  What this means for me at least is very often I can't find the word that I want.  While my brain chooses a word getting it to come out is a whole other story.  Also another part of my problem is that I am used to talking at my Long Island rate of speed.  An easy way to understand this is that my brain is processing at 50 mph while my speech is hovering around 30 (if I'm lucky).  Frustrating.... you can't imagine.  Then add my newly acquired stuttering to this and then your throat gets dry and well one just seems to amplify the other and next thing you know I can barely get out a sentence.  If I am tired it all just falls apart completely.  Stress also affects this as well.  Being out and about amongst strangers I'd prefer not to talk at all. 
     Well our day did progress and I felt a bit better.  We dropped the girls at the movies (Rango ~ha ha I saw it first) went shopping, stopped in at Chili's and rented movies.  Dinner was brought by friend ~ turkey a real treat for my family as I only make this at Thanksgiving.  I worked in the garage a bit sorting through donated books for a project I was helping with...and it happened again, forgot my limitations and nearly fell (thank heavens no one saw that graceful moment). 
     I guess Saturday was just the first day of a reality that I have to accept even though it won't be for long.

Home!

Yes it is official I am currently relaxing at home!!

I'm not even sure what to comment on.

   Now it was a great morning.  I got to sleep in which is in my book a major highlight.  We had one last meeting at 1030 and then we flew the coop.  I thought you would get a kick out of this....When we came back from our meeting there was a card on top of my luggage. A get well card signed by ALL the nurses on my floor (just in case I wanted to write any of their names on that survey LOL)

     So to celebrate my homecoming we went out for lunch and it was a treat....Maggiano's!  We just love that restaurant in fact that was where we announced to the kids we were going to London last year.  Well there a couple of things that are my favorite there including their bread..served warm and crunchy >>>couldn't eat it. Another favorite is the Zucchini appetizer.  Thin slices of zucchini coated in panko crumbs gently fried and served with a lemon aioli>>>barely finished one piece.  Thankfully our lunch was angel hair with sausage in the pomodoro sauce>>by now I had been eating or trying to eat for a while so while i did truly enjoy what I ate I was tired and barely ate half (i know there is a healthy upside to this). 
Today was a beautiful day in Jacksonville.  Maggiano's has a patio but we chose to eat by the window.  Okay first real world mini panic attack.  Hubby dropped me off outside of Maggiano's and parked the car.  The restaurant has 2 doors.  One is a revolving door the other a very ornate heavy door that opens in.  There was no one around to help ~ how was this going to work??? Well I just plugged on and THANK YOU GOD there was a hostess inside who saw me and helped.  I'll admit I am very self-conscious of how I look and sound which of course just makes my speech more labored.  Back to the patio.  Where our Maggiano's is located there's a little park with ponds and walkways.  There were kids feeding the ducks...how this one mom kept all 3 preschool aged boys out of the water I don't know but am impressed.  There were these beautiful brown birds flying around whose name escape me.  They're a bit larger than a blue jay but definitely smaller than crows.  Well next thing I know these birds are on the fencing surrounding Maggiano's patio, mind you people were eating outside.  Then they were on an empty table.  Finally they were right behind these 2 guys eating lunch.  You know they were just hoping that someone would drop something and they didn't care if it was accidentally or on purpose.  While I had a bit of fun imagining their conversation at the same I was freaked that these birds were so close to the people eating.  AND if you are going to eat in public please remember that other people can see you sucking on those stalks of Broccolini with lemon and garlic that you have picked up with your fingers>>>HINT it is truly not pretty!!!

WHOO HOO I AM HOME

Sunday is a day of rest

     Sunday, the day we spend with family, relax, usually have a nice dinner and just chill.  What do you think this is 1954 or something get a grip.  Not in our worls,  (if the stars align that is) we are out of the house by 8:15 heading to church. Unless Miss M or The Son have to work 2 services that day we are heading home by 10:30.  At 12 we are getting them ready to meet their ride to YQL rehearsal (thank God for Jamal as rehearsal is 45 minutes away) which means packing 3 lunches usually of Pizza Rolls snacks and drinks.  We have to leave around 3 to be in Ponte Vedre to pick them up from YQL at 4 so that Miss M can be at church for rehearsal at 4:30 (never make that on time).  BETA for all starts at 5:30, thankfully with dinner.  That ends at 7:00 so 3 of us head home only to have 1 of us head back to pick up The Son who stayed behind for youth which ends around 8:30.  There is that small window in there from when the kids leave with Jamal until we have to leave to get them but really Sunday a day of rest....I don't think so. 
     Consiering how laid back my Saturday was here at Rehab I was expecting Sunday to be the same...can you guess where I'm going with this.  9:00 AM I had to be on the first floor (I'm on the 3rd) for 45 minutes of recreational therapy.  Ok I have soo much to pick apart on this one.  First off recreational, recreational really!! The main goal behind this therapy is endurance, standing for a period of time playing a game.  We were to play a modified version of 301.  The idea being to throw bingo chips onto a dart board in the middle of the table and deduct your sore from 301.  What is almost as boring as watching paint dry? 6 stroke patients playing 301 with varied vocal abilities.  I was gracefully saved from this by a surprise visit from my sweet friend Cassie.  Back to that in a minute.  I need to address the fact that they wanted us to be recreationally motivated at 9AM.  I'll tell you what motivates me at 9AM my pillow!! Anyone who barely knows me knows that I am NOT a morning person.  Recreation Therapy at 9PM sign me up! 301 not so motivating...I'll play Texas Hold 'Em while standing..I'll gladly throw my chips instead of pushing them.  Ok I think I am onto something here.  Poker as Therapy.  This could work! No seriously, it could work.  The dexterity required to shuffle and deal...right there serious fine motor skills required.  Holding those cards close.. upper arm and elbow flexibility.  Never mind all of the cognitive skills required to keep track of your cards and those on the river.  And the chips... oh let's not forget the chips.  Stacking and unstacking.  Pushing and pulling.  For ultimate therapeutic benefits you could stand or for those teeth clenching rounds pace!....Oh wait snacking would involve those with swallowing issues...though soft foods at poker doesn't seem encouraging but hey you can't have it all at once now can you. 
    Well as I mentioned I was surprised by an early morning..God Bless her, visit from Cassie.  She actually was on call here at Brooks for the weekend.  It was so nice to see her (and to be resuced from therapy).  Visiting with Cassie was recreational and definitely therapy :0)  What totally caught me by surprise was how her visit hit me.  While in Orange Park Medical Center I had visitors daily.  While no one looks their best in a hospital gown lying in a bed I was ok with that.  BUT.  I had a mild melt down when I saw Cassie.  There was a realization to my conidition that hadn't hit me before.  THIS IS MY LIFE!  Somehow the first time having a friend seeing me shuffle behind a walker hit me mucher harder than I had expected.***  Poor Cassie was so sweet and understanding as well as being extremely supportive.  Reality, there it was standing right in front of me.  With the arrival of reality came of course its cohort stress.  Trying to figure out all of the things that have to be rearranged, adjusted, rescheduled and so-on.  Well sweet Cassie gifted me with a mug that had the  perfect encouragement.... Don't worry about tomrrow God is already there.  Now convincing myself and embracing that truth isn't easy but this sweet reminder will most definitely help.
Realilty, man it is coming hard and fast.  Leaving the walls of therapy, that self-centered world, is almost here.  Even now it is almost paralyzing to think of the impact this has in my world.  Simple activities that I took for granted aren't going to be so simple, at least for a while.  Going to have to ponder on this for a while.....

So any backers for Lady Bren's Texas Hold 'Em and Rehab?

3 days and counting

***point of clairfication Brooks Rehab is well over 45 minutes from where I live as opposed to OPMC being 5-10 minutes away