What more do you need?

I really do not understand drivers today.  Not too long ago I shared my bewilderment over the clueless folks I see on a weekly basis getting pulled over in school zones.  Today I have to add that well simply put some people are just plain STUPID.  

Honestly that has to be the reason because what more do you need than the sign above to make you obey the speed limit?   I can't even cut any slack because 3.5 miles later there's another sign warning you:

I have yet to pass though Waldo without seeing some idiot receiving a ticket!  The city of Waldo (it is so tiny calling it a city seems much) ranks as Florida's Worst Speed Trap according to National Motorists Association.  Personally when driving through this town I go 5 mph below the speed limit, I do not change lanes unless I have to and if I do my signal is on before crossing lanes.  

This got me thinking though ~shouldn't we be driving this vigilantly all the time?  I'm not saying we should drive in fear of getting pulled over for the slightest infraction.  However shouldn't we be as cautious as possible at all times?  In no way shape or form can I say that I always obey the speed limit.  I'm a stay in the flow of traffic kind of gal.  I'll admit to having received a speeding ticket while driving through Emporia, Virginia years ago which I deserved but not at the rate the officer wrote, the worst part is I knew that was a speed trap area but it was late at night and well getting to NY for an emergency was heavy on my mind.  

I strongly believe that texting and driving should be illegal.  Not so sure where I stand on the cell phone issue if using a hands-free set.  Currently neither is illegal in the state of Florida despite multiple attempts to pass a bill. For some reason these bills continue to die after being read in the Transportation and Safety Subcommittee but then all are referred to the Economics Committee (gotta love politics)

So readers please please please I beg of you.  Should you have to travel on FL301 through the town of Waldo please heed their speed limit signs. You really don't want their favorite souvenir.

Well it finally happened

     It was inevitable but it seemed as if we were avoiding it.  Then it happened this Friday.  We finally have another driver in our home; Patrick got his license.
     Now begins the discussions of when can he drive, where can he drive, never mind WHAT will he drive.  We only have two cars at this time so I'm sure this is going to create many happy occasions of "why can't I take the car".
Personally I believe Patrick was extremely motivated to get his license this past week as Meg is old enough to get her permit so the race was on, at least that's my story and I'm sticking to it.  Our school system no longer teaches drivers ed so it is up to us parents to teach our kids to drive.  On a funny note they can take a Driver's Education class online! Go figure.
     With having a licensed 18yr and a 15yr old days away from her learner's permit I was curious how different the driving requirements were around the country.  Well my head must have been in the sand on this one as I completely missed hearing anything about the STANDUP ACT. For those of you fellow ostriches:

The Safe Teen And Novice Driver Uniform Protection (STANDUP) Act is federal legislation that would compel states to strengthen their laws for novice teen drivers, often called Graduated Driver Licensing (GDL) laws, the identifying bills are:

 S.528 and H.R.1515.  The following is the national standards this bill would like to set:
   • A 3-stage licensing process (learner’s permit and intermediate stage before unrestricted driver’s license);
• A prohibition on unsupervised nighttime driving during the learner’s permit and intermediate stages
• A passenger restriction during the learner’s permit and intermediate stage (no more than 1 non-familial passenger under the age of 21 unless a licensed driver over 21 years of age is in the vehicle) 
• A prohibition on non-emergency use of cell phones and other communication devices, including text messaging, during the learner’s permit and intermediate stages;
• Age 16 for issuance of learner’s permit and full licensure at age 18;
• Any other requirement adopted by the Secretary of Transportation, including learner’s permit holding period at least 6 months; intermediate stage at least 6 months; at least 30 hours behind-the-wheel, supervised driving by licensed driver 21 years of age or older; automatic delay of full licensure if permit holder commits an offense, such as DWI, misrepresentation of true age, reckless driving, unbelted driving, speeding, or other violations as determined by the Secretary.


Should this bill pass in the state of Florida that following would change:

• Applicants must be 16 instead of 15 when applying for their learner's permit
• would restrict the number of non-family passengers to 1 until driver is 21
• restriction on use of cell-phones for non-emergency situations.

 You can go to Safe Road 4 Teens to see the changes in your state.

     Now I completely understand the idea of having national standards.  I truly do not think a 15 yr old from North Dakota with a license is prepared to drive on national highways.  At the same time I understand that in our heartland states many teens are driving farm equipment at young ages, while often those vehicles are primarily driven on private property there are times they need to be on public roads so some type of exception needs to be made. AND I don't think that experience translates to real road/traffic experience.  Currently 8 states issue permits at the age of 14. There are 7 states and the District of Columbia that have the minimum age set at 16.  The remaining 35 states issue permits at the age of either 15yrs. or 15yrs 6 months.

      I do like the idea of restricting non-family passengers but to the age of 21?? YEAH NO.  That goes along with my opinion on the drinking age~ We believe that 18, 19 and 20 year olds are mature enough to vote for a president, get married, enlist in our armed forces and possibly die for our country but not mature enough to drive with friends?  I think that age should be 18.  Prior to Patrick getting his license I found a couple of sites that recommend that a driver log 1,000 miles after receiving their license before they were allowed to have friends in the car with them. Now that sounds like a lot of miles but just 2 days after getting his license Patrick has logged close to 150 miles and we'll see how it goes.

     As far as restricting the use of cell phones why limit it to their permit and intermediate stage?  There are a number of states where it is already illegal to talk on the phone and drive.  And as far as texting...there is no reason whatsoever that anyone needs to text and drive period paragraph!!

     I am a little old fashioned in some of my thinking (big surprise) and beyond maybe to work where does a 16yr need to go by themselves?  Am I looking forward to having Patrick run errands and take Meg to different events ~ you betcha.  (Especially if he stays home next year one of his tasks will be driving her to school :).  Would I let a 16 year old drive the 70+ miles to their YouthQuake Live practice ~ not on your life!! Most certainly not with friends in the car. Unfortunately I think more often than not the idea of letting kids drive goes with the thought that it makes our lives easier if we don't have to drive them here and there.  Well my take on that is the complete opposite.  For the four years that Emily went to school out of county the rides home from school was where we had some of our greatest conversations.  Even now with driving Meg to and from school (by the way she's finally learned no talking in the am~I don't do mornings well :) on the afternoons when Michael picks her up  I feel as if I've missed out on something.  I enjoy picking Patrick up after ROTC or Tennis and hearing about his day one on one.  

     So we have a licensed driver in the house.  It is exciting to see how proud he is and how much he is looking forward to the freedom it brings.  Now all he needs is a car.... that's another blog. 

It is 6:45 I am driving what more do you want??

  Science has proven that you are either a night owl or an early bird.  Well I didn't need any documentation from studies in Europe to tell me that.  Plain and simple ~ I am a Night Owl!   I figured this out in college when I had door duty till 2am didn't bother me in the least.  Classes at 8:30AM ~~ those weren't pretty days at all.  8AM Open Vocal Lessons; let's just say the Royal Opera was never going to snatch me up.

     Fast forward 19 years. School mornings in our royal abode were never really the interactivities you often seen on TV.  I made sure all were up dressed, fed and off to the bus and that was about it.  Our mornings weren’t anything special but they worked and then it happened:  Em gets accepted into a Performing Arts high school, not across town but in another county. Translation: I have to get up and drive EVERY BLESSED Morning.  Now thank fully she could catch a bus at the "closest" high-school, a mere 40 minutes away w/morning traffic.  Em is like me in so many ways.... one being she's a night owl also.  We got into a routine down to the minute.  I got up 10 minutes before we leave throw on sweats, put hair in bun, take care of stuff.  We barely grunt to each other out the door. Once in the car the radio is turned to NPR. Em reclines her seat and goes to sleep.  40 minutes later wake her up when we arrive," love you have a great day" and she was off (to sleep on bus for the 35 minute ride to school).  When I got home I made sure other kids were off to school and back to bed I went.  Two years later Patrick also gets accepted to the art school.  First day or so he's chatty then realizes heck I can sleep... so there's 3 of us with this routine.  AKA quiet car mode.
   So if you're counting I followed that routine for the better part of 4 year, until Emily graduated.  At that time Patrick transferred back to his home school so he could participate in ROTC which surprisingly Arts schools don't support.  WOO HOOO my driving days are over, the bus stop is not even a 60 second walk to the corner. I just dodged two more years of driving at 6:45 in the morning!
  THEN not to miss out on the opportunity that her older siblings had Miss Meg decides to not attend her local high school with Patrick.  Oh No she wants to go the High School across the county for their TV Production and Pre-School academies.  So once again I am headed out the door at 6:45.
     Do you ever wonder if sometimes your kids aren't yours?  That they are so opposite that maybe the hospital made a mistake?  There are times I have to admit I look at Meg and say "who are you and where are your parents?"  She's up with the sun and happy in the morning ~EW!!  Ok yes I know she's mine but all I can think is when they delivered her emergency C-Section at 4pounds that all those tests and days in the NICU somehow messed up her internal clock. I know I can't prove it but that's the fact jack.
   The first two days of Meg High School I was in Alabama taking Em back to college so Dad who normally leaves for work @ 5am drives her.  Heck for him it was sleeping in, a treat if you think about it.  Seems they just had a glorious time talking about the day ahead and whatever.  Day three arrives and now Mom drives.  I have my 645 car routine and completely forget she's a newbie.  First thing she does is change the radio to some rock-my-car blow-my-ears-out station.  Then after I turn that off she starts talking.  Not yes, no, or grunt comments but questions that require multiple words to answer.  Does she not recognize who is behind the wheel?  Day four is a repeat and already I'm thinking maybe I should transfer back to her home school as the stress might be too much for her. I know, I know what you're thinking... smart move sane the sanity.   Thank heavens there were only four days that first week.
    Monday rolls around for the start of the new week.  Meg hops in the car puts on the radio and I stop the car; then in the most loving supportive tone that I can muster at 645 I looked at her and said ~ Sweetheart I am so glad you're going to XX High School.  We are going to have time in the car every morning for the next four years.  That time is going to be quiet time.  You can rest back, review notes for the day, heck you can even text your friends.  But what it isn't going to be is Mommy Chat Time.  She looked at me and said ~thank god I didn't want to be rude just sleeping on the way to school and with that she reclined her seat. 
!!! YEAH she is my child after all!      

BTW we have wonderful chats at 2:45 in the afternoon when I pick her up :0)

Margins, Tumbleweeds and Chainsaws

     The biggest news in my life right now is that I can drive!!  I could probably write an entire blog simply on that glorious freedom but nope other fun insights to share today.
    I didn't hear this story directly but I need to credit Jay Wright with its origins (props to you~Jay)  We've all seen westerns with tumbleweeds blowing through the town usually implying drought or the bad guys are on their way.  Well here is what I didn't know.  Tumbleweeds actually start out as green bushes growing about 3 - 4 feet high and some varieties actually have flowers.  OK here's a fun fact they actually originated in Mongolia ~  so much for that cowboy image now!  Anyway they have very very shallow roots which are so weak that when the plant dries it actually breaks away from its roots and "tumble" about wherever the wind takes it.  So onto the story as it relates to me.
     How rooted are you?  You can take this in many many contexts.  Are you rooted in spiritually?  Do you have a supportive community?  Are you a soloist and not only onstage?  We were not designed to flourish independently.  In order to thrive we have to be rooted.  And to even think about surviving the rough times we need to be deeply deeply rooted.  The tumbleweeds dry out because their roots don't go deep enough to get enough water for their survival.  They wind up not only disengaging from their roots but they don't even get to control where they are going.  There are so many ways that plays out in our lives today.  Politically do you just agree with whatever is the popular "thought of the day" is a good example.  I am not suggesting you need to be campaigning or door thumping but are you rooted in what you believe.  Do you vote for your party regardless of the candidate or are you willing to vote your some other way if your conscience prompts you?  (Wow guess I have politics on the mind and didn't realize it).  Having teenagers I am so aware of how public opinions so greatly influences their lives.  Without sounding way too uptight or up righteous but when I can't let Meg watch a show that is on at 8pm due to sexual content I think there's a problem with that.  I remember not being the only kid who wasn't allowed to watch The Bunkers because my parents never knew what was going to be said.  And if a show did have questionable content it was usually on after what was considered the family hour.  Tumbleweeds.  We need to be able to dig in and form deep roots on what we believe our convictions are.  Are you feeding those convictions through community?  While I believe it is important to listen to and understand various and opposing views I believe we have a responsibility to ourselves and our beliefs to do all we can to further understand and develop them.  The best way to do this is to be connected.  Don't be out on the fringe with a group rather get in there...get your hands dirty.  Those connections those roots are going to be what will sustain you through the dry times. 
I definitely learned that over the last 5 weeks.  If it wasn't for the community of New Grace I am not sure how I would have gotten through.  They have carried me and nourished me in ways I didn't realize I needed.  When we rely on others not only are we blessed but we allow them to be blessed by sharing whatever gift it is you needed.  It makes me think of that 70's song.... Lean on me.  Please dear friends don't be a Tumbleweed I want you to grow like those beautiful trees you see along a river. 
     Now at the same time that I want you growing within a community I want you to take a moment and look at your life.... are there any margins?  HUH?? Margins... you know those things on the outside of notebook paper where we weren't allowed to write in during school.  The empty parts of the page.  do you have any in your life?  Or is your life jam packed with activities?  Now this is definitely a bit of the pot calling the kettle black and I openly ashamedly admit that.  I am a stay at home mom so usually my day is pretty open... however.  Before school and after school never mind the weekends PACKED!  That's with just 2 kids at home.  Last year when Em was still at home there were many times I was literally in 2 places at once it seemed.  And I don't think my kids are any more active than most.  And because I was a SAHM I was the one volunteering at school (at one time in 2 different counties) or wherever the was.  The busy activities of the kids well half of them are church related so that can't be too much right?  Our BETA group had homework a week ago and we had to create a margin in our daily life.  Admittedly my life currently has  A LOT OF MARGINS in it.  But this made me realize how in the past a margin was needed and we didn't even see it.  Em loves singing and being in choirs were a incredible part of her high school experience.  However around Christmas senior year it was time to leave one.  Obviously we knew this would open up her schedule but both of us were surprised how less stressful our lives were with that one decision.  It doesn't need to be hours of time but try to find a few minutes of margin time in your week :0)

    Okay CHAINSAWS LOL.  I just absolutely love the chain saw we bought this past Christmas.  I have been (OK was until last month) truly having fun cutting down trees in our yard.  There was this one tree that has to go so my citrus trees can move on in. (FYI we don't have a large property at all but that hasn't stopped me from changing the landscape) So back to this tree.  Obviously we are 5/6 weeks behind on yard work and gardening.  I have a list of things that need to be done and frankly they have to be done in order.  So before I can proceed down the list this tree had to come down.  Usually I am the one wielding the chainsaw and they boys are pulling on the ropes and such.  It really hurt to not be a part of the process this weekend and simply take pictures.  The tree is down however it did drop in our neighbors and thank heavens he's safe but Michael had a close miss as it dropped.  What can I say except... Never send a man to do a woman's job is all I can say !  

MaryEllen, Becca and Patrick get ready!





Well it is down.. not in our yard but down



Tulips and Hyacinths! Yeah not really

     Spring is finally here.  I am so excited I just love Spring and Easter is my favorite holiday.  As you could have guessed from the title or my choice of pictures... Tulips and Hyacinths are my most favorite Spring Flowers.  You usually can't grow them here because our Winter doesn't get cold enough for a long enough period of time.  However yours truly refuses to give up and every year I will buy those leftover flowers after Easter that need a little love *usually 25 cents or so LOL* plant them and enjoy them for a few weeks.  I never pull up their bulbs in the hopes that maybe just maybe next year they'll come back.  Well Florida had a doozy of a winter and not only did I have a Hyacinth in the back yard but I have the makings of 3 Tulips popping their long leaves through the dirt in the front.  Also an Easter Lily has decided to join in the fun ~~ Woo hoo.  I didn't get to enjoy the Deep Blue Hyacinth for long as it bloomed just before my 3 week detour :0(

     OK the real reason I started off all springy is my heart is just broken today.  We only got to have Emily home for about 60 hours and the trip back was honestly just not an option.  I went with Michael to bring her home Wednesday/Thursday.  We didn't do much of anything Wednesday but drive to just outside of Pensacola ~ Exit 56 and spent the night.  The hotel had a really late checkout ~ noon.  So we milked that.  Shopped a little at Target and the Dollar Tree picking some fun things up for Em's room.  Then we hung out at Buffalo's Wild Wings for over 90 minutes waiting on her flight to land.  Picked her up, loaded the car.  Got something to eat and drove home.  Mind you that I did none of the driving.  OMG exhausted doesn't even come close to how I felt Friday.  And Saturday.  And the better part of Sunday as well.

     Not driving Emily back just feels so wrong.  I know it is great the she and Michael got to have that time together but!  That's all... BUT.  That's my thing.  That's my time with her.  The 2 days flew by so fast I didn't have any time to talk with her.  I didn't even get to look at the papers she brought home.  I just didn't :0(  We really tried to cram a lot in here at home.  We had a wonderful dinner Friday night with Pat and Jane McSweeney.  They brought over a Corned Beef Dinner with the works so we could have a belated SPD.  We truly laughed until 11pm when Jane finally mentioned she had to go to work the next morning.  Saturday we dragged ourselves out of the house around noon to do some b'day shopping for Meg. She wanted a new Bible and I believe especially at her age that's a very personal thing and wanted her to have exactly what she wanted.  Then we went out for an early b'day lunch... Mellow Mushroom (Meg's favorite).  After a quick stop at the Library we headed home and I was so tired Michael took the girls out shopping for their Easter Dresses.  (Translation:  He was at Chili's and the girls shopped)  Dinner was provided by a couple from church.... If you have never had Grasshopper Pie you need to get yourself some soon!!.  We watched 2 movies... I crashed.

     It was 1030 before I was actually ready to move.  We just made it to The Pig for bfast....sooo good.  We had a blast, Patrick providing entertainment as usual over the silliest things which when written out just lose their humor.  Back home the car was packed in 10 minutes and Michael, Emily and Patrick were gone.  They dropped Patrick at a friend's so he could spend the night and go to DA tomorrow.  So 12noon it is just Meg and I.  She's fighting a cold and a bit draggy so we just watched a movie.  We went to Beta (Thanks Leona for driving) came home and played games. 

OK bad mom confession.... I had a blast with MaryEllen we played games for over 2 hours. No TV on.  No music blaring just us laughing having fun and I loved it.  It really wasn't where I wanted to be.  I wanted to be in Mobile giving Emily one last hug.  I don't know that I'll be able to drive back in April for her Opera as I originally planned.  I'm pretty sure I will but for the first time ever I can't make that promise.  AND IT IS KILLING ME!!!  I have always been the one she can depend on.  Even during our turbulent period back when she turned 14 it was me who was at everything.  UGGHH I swear I can just feel the stress of this building in my body.  In fact earlier while Meg and I were watching You Again (Good Movie) I kept thinking oh they'll be in Tallahassee soon and they'll call.  As time went on and they didn't call I felt my chest get tight....WHAT AM I Doing to MYSELF?  Am I really this stupid?  Harsh reality is .....Yes I am.