Rehab and Awards

   The craziness that is May has begun so with that in mind tonight I am sharing a post from my stay in Rehab.  I wrote it after my first day and I was not a happy camper: Rehab Reality: It Isn't pretty  If you have any qualms about privacy and bathrooms then this story is for you :)

     It seems that everything this week was scheduled on the same day.  Tonight alone we had 3 different activities that Patrick was a part of.  He wound up having to miss rehearsal for tomorrow night's YouthQuake Live show, which will be his last.  The first event of the evening was NJROTC awards.  Wait a bit of drama just for fun.  Awards start at 6:30, Cadets had to report at 6.  Patrick had gone to a friend's house to get ready, she was driving.  6:40 no Patrick or friends. I can't get a hold of him on his cell phone ~ you know what I was thinking.  Now I'm asking the kids who aren't involved at the moment do they have L's cell number or R's some thing's wrong.  No one can help as the kids were instructed to give their cell phones to their parents.  Just as my worry is reaching hyper mode the three kids come running in ~ thank heavens, then I chewed them all out.  After that bit of drama I'm proud to say Patrick received a personal achievement award along with other unit awards.  The Unit had over 50 trophies displayed that they won this past year :)  Tonight was the last time he is required to wear his uniform; I however am making him wear it for Graduation Sunday at church.


While we stayed for a few quick pics we then (along with a few of his friends) loaded into the Van and headed across town to our next Award Ceremony of the Evening~  County Media Festival.  That started at 7 but as they also give out awards to Elementary and Jr. High Media Teams we had a bit of time.  We walked in just as they announced his Video has won Second Place.  Another of his Videos also won Second.  A highlight of the night was the introduction of a new Media Teams at one of the High Schools.  All of its members are handicapped in one way or another.  Watching their excitement when their video was played just made my night ~ Congrats RHS Sky Blue Team.

The night ended with laughs at our local Steak and Shake.  It's only May 4th and I'm getting worn out~thank heavens I took a long nap today!!   All in all a great nite

A Year Later :Rehab Reality

     March 1, 2011 was the beginning of my official recovery.  I moved from the hospital to a rehab facility.  I thought it would be fun to look back at the post I wrote while trying to "adjust" to rehab life.  One quick note on content.... I was spoiled in the hospital by one of the nutritionists who made sure I had a milk shake every afternoon and Miss Theresa was my roommate whose dementia and constant equipment alarms made recovery/rest interesting

Rehab Reality ~ It isn't pretty

All right boys and girls  fun and games are officially over (milkshakes too).  Rehab sucks and I have only been here 8 hours.  There was a big to do about getting me into Brooks Rehabilitation as opposed to a Rehab/Life Center or as we used to call them when I was growing up....nursing homes.

So we get here and I have my own room which is great after the week with Miss Theresa...more about her another time. However I realize that I will eat all my meals in my private room and come back from therapy to a private room ~ which at some times will be beneficial.  But then I start to learn the real reason rooms on the stroke floor are all private.....YOU NO LONGER HAVE ANY OTHER PRIVACY...nothing babe it is all gone.  You are not allowed to use the restroom alone in case you fall. Now I've always said I have not lived a perfect life but even in my worst days I never fell off a toilet!!!  The shower is a party affair as there is not so much as a hint of a curtain. Upon check in they have to examine your ENTIRE body for any signs of bed sores and such. So yes the one bit of privacy is you are alone in a room.

Now when they put you into bed they put your wheelchair on the other side of the room.  (As if I am going sneak into it at night to organize races down the hall ~ been there done that SUFFOLK HALL @ SUNY GENESEO ROCKS) Are you starting to sense the total lack of control going on here?  Yes Yes Yes I can hear all of you worry warts and medical professionals (and I just realized~ man I have a lot of friends in the medical field) saying this is being done for your safety, they don't want you to fall and yada yada yo.....does it sound like that is what I am concerned about at this point!!NO. Remember I have no cognitive issues so all of Bren is in here even if she can't vocally get out yet.

So here's the deal...every time you have to use the restroom this is the protocol you have to follow

1.     Push your call button and wait for someone to answer and ask what you need.  So now at least 2 other people know what's happening (more if any are in the hallway near the nurses’ station. 

2.     They then call your nurse and her assistant.  And if they are in some one's room they hear this call.  So now at least 4 people know. 

3.     The nurse/na then comes to your room when they are done with their current patient (hope you weren't in a rush)

4.     You go through the protocol of properly getting out of bed and into the wheelchair....did I mention you have to wear a seat belt in the wheel chair at ALL TIMES even the 6 foot ride to my private bathroom. 

5.     So now they have pushed you in, helped you stand and wait for it.....

6.     they want to pull your pants down for you until you learn the proper way to do it.  Now I never truly considered myself extremely shy but in the throne room, as my Dad used to call it, yes. I am used to a parade of toddlers and dogs following me there but not in. And this crew~they won't even stand outside the door! The nurses in ICU, the ones changing my bedpan gave me more privacy and believe me I thought that was the lowest point of humiliation...not anymore.

7.     Once you finish you can't flush as it has to be examined and noted. 

8.     They pull up your pants help you into your chair, seat belt on,

9.     finagle you to the sink so you can wash your hands

10. then out to your room over to your bed and finally

11. you are back in bed.

 Did that whole routine 3 times................... I now have a bedside commode.  I figure if I could master one in the hospital when I shared a room and had people coming and going I should be able to do so in my private room.  Oh, yeah, I still have to call someone to watch me use it.

Rehab it isn't pretty and we've only just begun

The Reality of It All

***Last night (Tuesday) apparently I crashed for over 12 hours and this blog never got finished or posted.  I am going to post it as is b/c there's so much happening today I want to start a new one later***

     So I am taking a new approach to today's blog.  I usually write about the previous day or if I have the energy at the end of the night I'll write about that day.  Seeing as how today is my last full day of rehab I thought I would try to write throughout the day when I had breaks.  We'll see how it goes.  Currently I am awaiting my first session which is speech at 8:30 so I have a few moments to reflect on yesterday

Oh no they didn't
     Monday I had a full schedule including an hour class on how to prepare to drive again which was 45 minutes too long.  Another class I had was on the process/transition of leaving therapy.  It had 6 components.  Now I will admit to being late as the previous session ran over so I got there just about 10 minutes into it.  They were telling us about check-out..which feels like a hotel..and how they'd like you to leave around 11:00.  What the process would be that day and how your meds and equipment needs were being arranged.  Now remember this was a 30 minute class.  The presenter was done with all of this information within 15 minutes and spent the better part of the remaining 15 minutes explaining how to fill out the survey we would receive in about 2 weeks after our release.  She went on to explain that maybe your goals weren't completely met during your stay at Brooks but that shouldn't be reflected on the survey as Brooks is only a part of your recovery.  Boiled down it was pretty much indirect instructions on how to properly score Brooks on this independent survey.  Now I understand how feedback and such is important but really?  However we are not done.  It was as if some invisible check mark now floated above my head that I attended the class as everyone from dietary to nurses to cleaning staff and beyond that I came in contact with afterwards mentioned the survey ~ some even hinting how I could mention them by name if I felt they deserved to be. I just was so taken aback by this unified commitment to scoring well on a survey.  Oh well I guess the pressure to score them well on a survey is better than being expected to tip everyone.

Greatest Snack Ever
     My nurses keep saying I am one of their easier, more independent patients and often they'll just come and hang out.  Simply due to my schedule I do know my evening nurses better than the 2 other shifts.  Cat and Dalin and just so sweet and have been incredibly encouraging (OK I was planning to mention them on the survey) along the way.  Last night after telling them how tired I was of the food and jello and such they said they were going to come up with a new snack for me.  Now some of you may know that after I had my first baby I switched my occupation from Auditor (not IRS) to Pre-School teacher.  Which I desperately miss ~ I'll admit.  I taught K5 at the YMCA in VA Beach.  Now afternoon snacks (after naps) were the most fun.  Once or twice a week depending on my lesson plan we would have a cooking class of some sort..silly things like painting with food or edible cars.  Anyway, when I wasn't being a culinary instructor there was one snack that was always the favorite....peanut butter with graham crackers and apple juice.  Don't you know that is what Dalin brought me last night!! First off I hadn't had peanut butter since my incarceration  hospitalization never mind something as crunchy and tasty as graham crackers.  I'll admit I wanted to glob the peanut butter on but I didn't, really I didn't! I was too worried about swallowing issues...there were none :0)  Now I ask you...knowing we are all beyond Nap and Snacks....when was the last time you had graham crackers, peanut butter and apple juice?  If you want to be transported back to those early days of after school snacks just treat yourself to this...I won't tell (maybe).

*******Back to today**********
     Blogging between sessions really hasn't worked out like I thought it would.  It feels as if they are loading on sessions and each session is pushing me to the max.
Speech therapy was actually filled with exercises today that I feel will shed enlightenment into your life.  So here's what we are doing...you need to lay down flat (no pillow).  Lift your head 30 times with your shoulders staying down so you can look at your toes...this needs to be nice and smooth.  The next exercise is in the same position.  This time you are going to hold your head up for 30 seconds..remember shoulders stay down.  I know what you're thinking..oh how easy...yeah do each in sets of 5.

Ok you I told you above about the survey ~ well I realize they have been using subliminal messaging.  I noticed today that next to the door as you leave the Gym at eye level ~ wheelchair eye level that is ~ a laminated flyer with a 5 and happy smiles and the phrase our goal is 5.  Until the survey class yesterday I thought this meant meeting the goal of attending all 5 days of P/T.  I now see it for what it really is...SCORE US 5.

So it feels as if the therapists have reveals their true sadistic side today.  For fun my PT had me tackle the stairs.  Mind you I have no stairs in my life so why we did this I don't know.  I have never sweated so much so quickly!  Went up and down the 12 steps 4 times!!! Cha and she ended with taking real steps not putting two feet on one step....I am still wiped as I haven't had my nap today :-(

Lunch was a new adventure as I got to have a salad..Swallowing still being an issue that is evident here yet.  While I can eat small amounts of salad I have to drink after every bite.  But hey it is new so I am sooo happy. 

My equipment has arrived.  So I am now the proud owner of a walker and a tub chair made by Rubbermaid of all companies.

Don't forget what number do they want me to score?

Last night in rehab

Sunday is a day of rest

     Sunday, the day we spend with family, relax, usually have a nice dinner and just chill.  What do you think this is 1954 or something get a grip.  Not in our worls,  (if the stars align that is) we are out of the house by 8:15 heading to church. Unless Miss M or The Son have to work 2 services that day we are heading home by 10:30.  At 12 we are getting them ready to meet their ride to YQL rehearsal (thank God for Jamal as rehearsal is 45 minutes away) which means packing 3 lunches usually of Pizza Rolls snacks and drinks.  We have to leave around 3 to be in Ponte Vedre to pick them up from YQL at 4 so that Miss M can be at church for rehearsal at 4:30 (never make that on time).  BETA for all starts at 5:30, thankfully with dinner.  That ends at 7:00 so 3 of us head home only to have 1 of us head back to pick up The Son who stayed behind for youth which ends around 8:30.  There is that small window in there from when the kids leave with Jamal until we have to leave to get them but really Sunday a day of rest....I don't think so. 
     Consiering how laid back my Saturday was here at Rehab I was expecting Sunday to be the same...can you guess where I'm going with this.  9:00 AM I had to be on the first floor (I'm on the 3rd) for 45 minutes of recreational therapy.  Ok I have soo much to pick apart on this one.  First off recreational, recreational really!! The main goal behind this therapy is endurance, standing for a period of time playing a game.  We were to play a modified version of 301.  The idea being to throw bingo chips onto a dart board in the middle of the table and deduct your sore from 301.  What is almost as boring as watching paint dry? 6 stroke patients playing 301 with varied vocal abilities.  I was gracefully saved from this by a surprise visit from my sweet friend Cassie.  Back to that in a minute.  I need to address the fact that they wanted us to be recreationally motivated at 9AM.  I'll tell you what motivates me at 9AM my pillow!! Anyone who barely knows me knows that I am NOT a morning person.  Recreation Therapy at 9PM sign me up! 301 not so motivating...I'll play Texas Hold 'Em while standing..I'll gladly throw my chips instead of pushing them.  Ok I think I am onto something here.  Poker as Therapy.  This could work! No seriously, it could work.  The dexterity required to shuffle and deal...right there serious fine motor skills required.  Holding those cards close.. upper arm and elbow flexibility.  Never mind all of the cognitive skills required to keep track of your cards and those on the river.  And the chips... oh let's not forget the chips.  Stacking and unstacking.  Pushing and pulling.  For ultimate therapeutic benefits you could stand or for those teeth clenching rounds pace!....Oh wait snacking would involve those with swallowing issues...though soft foods at poker doesn't seem encouraging but hey you can't have it all at once now can you. 
    Well as I mentioned I was surprised by an early morning..God Bless her, visit from Cassie.  She actually was on call here at Brooks for the weekend.  It was so nice to see her (and to be resuced from therapy).  Visiting with Cassie was recreational and definitely therapy :0)  What totally caught me by surprise was how her visit hit me.  While in Orange Park Medical Center I had visitors daily.  While no one looks their best in a hospital gown lying in a bed I was ok with that.  BUT.  I had a mild melt down when I saw Cassie.  There was a realization to my conidition that hadn't hit me before.  THIS IS MY LIFE!  Somehow the first time having a friend seeing me shuffle behind a walker hit me mucher harder than I had expected.***  Poor Cassie was so sweet and understanding as well as being extremely supportive.  Reality, there it was standing right in front of me.  With the arrival of reality came of course its cohort stress.  Trying to figure out all of the things that have to be rearranged, adjusted, rescheduled and so-on.  Well sweet Cassie gifted me with a mug that had the  perfect encouragement.... Don't worry about tomrrow God is already there.  Now convincing myself and embracing that truth isn't easy but this sweet reminder will most definitely help.
Realilty, man it is coming hard and fast.  Leaving the walls of therapy, that self-centered world, is almost here.  Even now it is almost paralyzing to think of the impact this has in my world.  Simple activities that I took for granted aren't going to be so simple, at least for a while.  Going to have to ponder on this for a while.....

So any backers for Lady Bren's Texas Hold 'Em and Rehab?

3 days and counting

***point of clairfication Brooks Rehab is well over 45 minutes from where I live as opposed to OPMC being 5-10 minutes away

Panera, M&M's and shower chairs

     So here it is Saturday evening at Brooks Rehab.  Due to it's high standard you do have Therapy sessions on Saturday just not as intense, so instead of 3 hours you get 1.5.  And thank the Lord these sessions do not start at 8:00 in the morning.  Not that they let you sleep much, but there wasn't anyone coming in at 5:45 today to dress me for early therapy.  So I got to chill this morning while awaiting therapy and my family coming.  I've been feeling pretty guilty as last night I missed Miss M in Youth Quake Live's March show.  You are supposed to be able to view it online but I couldn't :0(  Hope the pictures post soon.  Then today Son's ROTC had state.  I haven't talked to him yet but I believe they placed and are going to Nationals!!
So Hubby and Miss M showed up around 2:00 with Panera and a Route44 unsweet light ice peach tea from Sonic.  Two of my favorites.  I am supposed to watch the caffeine but boy did I need that tea!  Hubby brought my favorite soup from Panera ~ Broccoli Cheddar.   I am still on a soft mechanical diet but figured soup is soup so we're good to go.  And of course Panera serves their soup with a piece of sourdough bread~ definitely not on my approved foods list.  Had a great visit with the two of them.  We played Risk for almost 2 hours and they accompanied me to OT where we discovered there's a rec room here.  While I worked my butt off the two of them enjoyed a couple games of air hockey.  I learned how to get in and out of a car...the mini van will definitely be easier than the Malibu.  I also learned how to get in and out of a shower.  Now I bet you don't even think about that little activity every day do you?? No, don't lie, you don't.  You just take it for granted that you can get in and out of your shower/tub no questions asked.  Well kiddos I'm here to impress on you how easy you have it :0)  Now the shower stall here has about a 6 inch clearance, thank heavens the one at home isn't that high.  Also I was in sneakers and there was no hold bar.(Please note and acknowledge my submitted excuses, Thank you)  Yesterday we started working on my lifting the left leg onto a 3" block and that is while I'm holding onto the parallel bars and my PT is helping so you can imagine how stressful the 6" lift was..mind you Hubby and Miss M never broke stride with their game until they were done, so glad my therapy and minor panic moments didn't interfere.  So next we tried the tub....I will be using the kids' bathroom tub for the next few weeks as what a breeze that was.  From wheelchair to shower chair..zing!

    Hubby and Miss M left at 445 as she had Wildlyfe tonight.(if you were in Jr high wouldn't you want to go to something called wildlyfe...oh they have it so rough)  That was perfect timing as I was wiped and also hungry for my soup.  Up til now I have pretty much only had hospital food.  I have to admit it hasn't all been that bad.  I am just really getting bored with variations of the same theme....chicken salad or chopped chicken in a sauce with pasta of some sort. I do have soup for lunch and Brooks can make a soup let me tell you.  What I didn't even think about until today is that their soups are thin soups.  Sure they are very flavorful and filled with veggies and such but thin just the same.  Panera's Broccoli Cheddar soup---Not thin.  And they don't cook the  veggies until they are limp, there's still a bit of bite to them.  Well it took me over an hour to finish my bowl of soup and I am very very disappointed to announce that no amount of soaking the Panera Sourdough Baguette made it easy for me to swallow...I'd appreciate a moment of sorrowful pity please.

When I was in college the Boynton characters were huge...do you remember them?  I think they're big in nursery sets now.  Anyway back in the day they were everywhere on mugs, stationary, cards and such.  In fact I still have my mug with the birds sitting on music lines and I buy the Boynton Busy Mom's Calendar every year.  Moving along, There was one pin that I really loved.  It had a hippo who looked downtrodden with the saying "if wearer is found depressed administer chocolate immediately".  I loved this so much that I used it on my senior recital posters with this twist:  If recitalist is found nervous please administer chocolate immediately.  Instead of bouquets of flowers I received chocolate.  So needless to say I am definitely in chocolate withdrawals here.  Last night I asked Michael to bring me up some M&M's.  Are you ready..... unless I let them melt in my mouth I have trouble swallowing them!! Really M&M's.  I mean hey I am swallowing pills..OK they are very small.  But we're talking M&M's.  Then my nurse came in and was truly unhappy to find that I had these little treasures of love.  She said (and you know you just can't make these things up) you really need to be careful you could choke on one. REALLY.!!! So I had to promise to eat no more than a handful over an hour period :0( ~~ define handful hee hee.

So in addition to my body turning on me two of my faithfuls....Paenra and M&M's have fled as well....

Maybe I can get chocolate IVs

3.5 days and counting

It took rehab to prove my intelligence LOL

The word mensa means table.  In the Mensa organization the principle idea is intelligence is in every walk of life and is a great equalizer leaning towards round table discussions. 
While in college one of my poli sci professors had us take a intelligence test and a few of us scored high enough and became members of Mensa.  Now while I was in college I'll admit academics weren't my main interest.  I graduated with a degree in Vocal Performance (Opera) with a minors in Political Science and Business.  However my main interest was student government/student activities.  Outside of being President over the Residence Hall Organizations and serving on Parents' Day commitees and other similar activities many of my classmates would have been surprised at my IQ.  Therefore I am sure that my friends today would be even more troubled grasping that my IQ in 1985 was measured at 144.  However I am very proud to announce that I can once again hold my head tall and say I have documentation that I am fairly intelligent.

I told you I have a team of therapists (giggling is not necessary) and one of them is a Neuropsychologist.  He performed tests which can help determine which part of the brain is/was impaired by a stroke.  I really found it interesting that simple skill tests such as repetition, story recounting, copying of pictures, totalling numbers in your head and such can clue the doctors into what type of injury your brain sustained.  So we sat down Friday evening to discuss my results and he said (verbatum) you scored higher than anyone I have ever tested!! Take that my lovely teenage children who believe their mom is clueless (though I do believe this is a requirement of all 13-19 yr olds).  I have to admit I really believe that through all of my struggles over the years with memory and retention that my addiction to sudoko and other such math games paid off.  In fact one of the tests I had to do was use a code to match shapes to numbers....who hasn't played that game before.  In that test, which was timed, I filled in all but 6 boxes which is one of the highest he's seen, and the tests I scored lowest on were in the high average range (big smile here)

Ok the flip reality of this is while I am writing this blog Miss M and I are Facebooking each other line by line the words to a Phineas and Ferb song.  If you don't know who they are you either 1) have no children or 2) live under a rock.  The show is about 2 step-brothers and their pet platypus who everyday during summer vacation build something incredible.  We have all of the episodes on DVR with a Do Not Delete check on them.  I admit it I really love cartoons and I'm pretty confident that this love of Disney is a gift from my Dad.  For example : My friend Karen and I have seen Tangled twice, we only took Miss M once.  She and I both are planning to see Rango as soon as I get of rehab.  (Karen if you should read this I apologize for outing you I just wasn't going down alone~XOXO)

So what does this all mean:

In my now documented deep wisdom I believe it is important to richly develop your mind through brain training games and CARTOONS!!!!!  

BTW:
Happy Platypus Day!!!
(click here)

4 days and counting

Rockin and Rollin

Well I am getting more mobile...kinda.  They have taken away my wheelchair and given me a walker.  Freedom yeah!! But here's the thing: I get so tired after a bit of walking is it really more freedom?  And how am I supposed to go downstairs and borrow a puzzle for my room if both my hands are on my walker...oh the tragedy of it all.  Honestly when they said they were taking the wheelchair away did I think YEAH one step closer to going home or YEAH my left leg is bearing some weight? NO~ my first thought and question was.....Can I now go to the bathroom by myself!!!!!!!!!!

Lunch was sooo weird today.  My Speech Therapist said she wanted to eat lunch with me to see how my swallowing was going.  What I didn't realize is that her idea of eating lunch with me and mine were polar opposites.  What happened is she sat so she could see the side of my face/throat and actually watched me eat.  She wasn't eating at all.  We discussed  bite sizes and swallowing techniques, which was all very helpful.  However I felt like a lab rat.  Every time I picked something up all I could picture in my mind was a group of lab techs with their white coats and clip boards hmmming and ohhing and taking notes:

• Did you see her pick up that carrot, I wonder why she chose a carrot over the string bean?  
• That piece of chicken took her 10.4 seconds to chew whereas the last was only 9.87 should we be worried? 
• I'm not sure there was enough gravy on that bite.

She is really sweet but that was really weird.  How do you carry on a conversation when the person really doesn't want to talk with you but watch you eat?  Well hope my manners were up to par, though it is still weird eating right handed.

For those of you who really know me you are going to need to sit down before you continue reading.  I am serious SIT DOWN!  Hubby came to visit tonight and wound up crashing on my couch.  So what did I do to fill the time...Laundry.  And I have to tell you it is the first thing I have done is 2 weeks that has felt real which in turn felt good!  I know you are all falling over which is why I told you to sit down.  But you are going to love this.  I don't believe I am going to be able to do laundry at home for a while  (collective sigh please).  You see we have a front loader whose door opens to the left...into the doorway to the laundry room and this of course is right next to the dryer so transferring from one to another with a walker in this tight space is a logistical impossibility!! OH DARN...
Now I may be able to load the washer if someone puts the hamper high enough so I am not reaching to the ground to pull out the items.  I can however hang up and fold as that was my OT skill today.  OMG I discovered the coolest thing today.  I know why laundry can be so hum-drum.  We don't have personal cheer squads.  HUH?  Every time I buttoned a shirt or got something neatly on the hanger then onto the rack I got a "good-job" or "you're doing great" and when I finished, a true Woo-Hoo.  Imagine if you had a squad cheering you on while doing the Laundry??   This place is soo good for my self-esteem do I really want to leave Wednesday...CHA!!

I keep telling you that the world of Lady Bren rocks....Woo-Hoo   5 days and counting

Hump Day has a whole new meaning

So now, when I am sheltered from the outside world my laptop crashes.  I was able to get it back up but the Internet explorer is beyond revival....thank heavens for warranties and for us finally buying one.  So I can no longer lay in my air bed and spout words of brilliance at my leisure.  I am now connecting through the family lounge computer which I believe maybe running windows 98 and do I have to share....CHA!

So what to catch you up on these last two days.
I was hoping to impart some cute little factoid as to when we started calling Wednesday Hump-Day but after doing some serious research (OK that means 10 minutes on google, ask, wikki etc) no one seems to know.  But I can share this... the color for Wednesday is Green according to Thai solar calendar.  However here at Brooks Rehabilitation center Wednesday is not just the middle of the week with an end in sight.... oh no...Wednesday here is Suppository Day!!!!!!!!!
Now aren't you glad I shared that little piece of info. Seriously it is practice for all patients to participate in this happy experience. There is a reason for it but truly who cares we're talking suppositories!!  Thank You GOD  I sidelined that puppy.  But then I got to thinking oh no how am I going to escape this happiness next Wednesday??  Should I have Michael sneak in Ex-Lax brownies? Put Pepto-Bismal in a strawberry shake? 
Well I don't have to worry because I found out that my target release date is Wednesday.  That's right March 10th  Lady Bren is being paroled.  So in a way it is a sort of Hump Day.  I have been through the hard part and the rest is downhill. 
Downhill....have you seen those downhill racers at the Olympics?  Why is it assumed downhill is easy peasy?  Can't you just see me heading downhill with my walker and just tumbling head over heels...I sure can and there aren't any hills nearby for me to blame :0P
Now that my release date has been set my therapy goals are now more "survival" oriented.  How far can I walk with my walker... how to get in and out of the car.....how to clean house (no wait I don't do this so why waste time training)...as well as how to shower and dress.  I have to stop here and tell you how Hubby freaked over this one.  My Occupational Therapist is Dave.  It is Dave's job to get me comfortable with the small skill sets..cooking, laundry, and yes showering.  So when I told Hubby the plan for Friday is for me to learn how to shower and dress myself he was truly upset. He couldn't understand why MALE DAVE had to be the one to teach me how to shower and dress, don't they have female OT's for that.  Well I completely lost it!! He honestly thought Dave was going to help me IN the Shower and also completely DRESS AND UNDRESS.  Am I bad that I really took pleasure in his mild melt down hee hee hee.

I told my team of therapists... and we all knew one day it would take a team of therapists to help me..that I do not have to walk out of here on my own.  So the goal is for me to go home with a walker.  I will still have a lot of therapy ahead of me (again who is really surprised at this??) and I am just going to have to accept that while I have been blessed with recovering so quickly not everything will follow the same.  The biggest issue after walking is swallowing.  I am still on a soft mechanical diet. Think of the size of food you give a toddler starting to eat..so if I go out to lunch with any of you plan on cutting my soft food (happy happy joy joy) My left arm is getting stronger but still requires support.  I have worked the putty Dave gave me so much it is no longer vibrant yellow.  But I am able to bend my pointer and pinkie finger with tension (yeah they helped type today!) and today for the first time my middle finger touched my thumb and bore some tension while playing with clothespins.  I know you all want your own set of therapy clothespins..not happening kiddos.

Cane.  I can't believe I haven't told you about Cane.  Brooks' has 3 therapy dogs and the one on our floor is called Cane.  He was born during a Hurricane hence the name.  This dog has the best job in the world.  His entire goal in life is to make himself available for petting!! Seriously, he hangs out in the rehab room in his spot, which is practically in the middle of the floor.  He even has an employee ID tag.  He has got the old ladies wrapped around his finger... I saw one sneak him something today.  All you have to do is say "Cane come make a friend" and he is at your side.  He looks just like Pirate but a bit fuller~probably all those sneaked treats.  So I was wondering.  The Buddhist religion believes in rebirth. Rebirthing as an animal is a sign, for one usually evolves towards enlightenment. Therefore if one rebirths as an animal in their next life they are going in the wrong direction and need to learn lessons in the animal kingdom. Well with no disrespect towards anyone Buddhist, but if I rebirthed as a therapy dog in this hospital...I'm not complaining!!

Woo Hoo HumpDay = Release....count down with me only 6 days

Survival Day One

I have been trying to think how I should approach this whole rehab/therapy thing. It certainly isn't a mini vacation or a trip to a spa.  But then again I don't really have any true responsibilities while I am here. Let's face it I'm not even the primary parent for the moment which really is the weirdest thing.  Even during my last hospitalizations I was orchestrating everything family-wise from bedside.  Hubby has now entered the world of single parenting teenagers....maybe he should be blogging lol.
But really the point of rehab is for the patient to focus only on healing.  Whether it is a physical, emotional or even addictive recovery rehab the idea is for your world to truly revolve around you. For most of us, and I think especially moms, that thought process is just so foreign to our innate instinct it feels corrupt.  Sure we  all have a way of finding a momentary escape.  For some it is exercising, others escaping to a book, your favorite drink at Starbucks or even something as simple as always having your favorite shampoo despite the cost. So here you are now, rarely without warning, thrown into an environment where you expect everyone and everything to revolve around your goal being achieved.  I deeply believe it will take a few days to even fully accept that concept. 
I was just talking with the patient advocate and as she simply put it...All of these therapists, doctors, nurses and the rest of the staff including me have one basic connecting idea...get Bren home.  OF course this is a huge facility and there are other patients here however during my 3 hours of therapy everyday I am the sole focus of that specialist.  The dietitian reviews my meals daily to see if it meets my swallow standards and also will attend a weekly meeting with my therapists to work towards increasing my abilities.  My nurses and their assistants are also given directives as to how much to allow me to do for myself and when those responsibilities increase. 
As I was going through all of my evaluations today I was asked the same question to which I replied.... I will be home by March 16th.  Two of them said that they were never given such a clear directive and if I was willing to work harder than most I could probably achieve it.  So without even realizing it I had created my survival plan....it very simply put is to escape!!
FYI: March 16th isn't an arbitrary date.  Miss E comes home from her week mission trip to Anchorage on March 17th.  We have not seen her since she returned to school in January so we are truly excited to see her.  I will be at the airport to greet her~there is no other option.

I do have to tell you a main reason I can be so self-focused is due to my church family.   I am so undeservedly blessed by my family of New Grace Church.  We aren't a tiny church where everyone knows everyone but we are small in sense of community.  The complete enveloping of my family by our church family is nothing less than astonishing.  Between getting kids to school early or making sure they doesn't miss bible study to friends offering to do food shopping they have stepped into every corner of our lives.  And here I need to just lift up Alison H.  She has arranged our meals using the coolest website: http://www.takethemameal.com/ .  I remember organizing meals pre-internet, then through emails now it is a click of a button.  How great is technology but how even greater is Alison who found this and organized its use for my family!  I've included the link so those of you who do the same things in your community can take advantage of this great free resource.  To see it at work type in my last name with the following code 9650 and while there you can drool over the food my family is receiving!

So the total idea of coming here and being almost narcissistic is going to help my escape plan work...I mean my recovery program be successful.

Rehab Reality~It isn't pretty

All right boys and girls  fun and games are officially over (milkshakes too).  Rehab sucks and I have only been here 8 hours.  There was a big to do about getting me into Brooks Rehabilitation as opposed to a Rehab/Life Center or as we used to call them when I was growing up....nursing homes.
So we get here and I have my own room which is great after the week with Miss Theresa...more about her another time. However I realize that I will eat all my meals in my private room and come back from therapy to a private room ~ which at some times will be beneficial.  But then I start to learn the real reason rooms on the stroke floor are all private.....YOU NO LONGER HAVE ANY OTHER PRIVACY...nothing babe it is all gone.  You are not allowed to use the restroom alone in case you fall. Now I've always said I have not lived a perfect life but even in my worst days I never fell off a toilet!!!  The shower is a party affair~there is not so much as a hint of a curtain. Upon check in they have to examine your ENTIRE body for any signs of bed sores and such. So yes the one bit of privacy is you are alone in a room. 
Now when they put you into bed they put your wheelchair on the other side of the room.  (As if I am going sneak into it at night to organize races down the hall ~ been there done that SUFFOLK HALL @ SUNY GENESEO ROCKS) Are you starting to sense the total lack of control going on here?  Yes Yes Yes I can hear all of you worry warts and medical professionals (and I just realized~ man I have a lot of friends in the medical field) saying this is being done for your safety, they don't want you to fall and yada yada yo.....does it sound like that is what I am concerned about at this point!!NO. Remember I have no cognitive issues so all of Bren is in here even if she can't vocally get out yet.
So here's the deal...every time you have to use the restroom this is the protocol you have to follow

1. Push your call button and wait for someone to answer and ask what you need.  So now at least 2 other people know what's happening (more if any are in the hallway near the nurses station. 
2. They then call your nurse and her assistant.  And if they are in some one's room they hear this call.  So now at least 4 people know. 
3. The nurse/na then comes to your room when they are done with their current patient (hope you weren't in a rush)
4. You go through the protocol of properly getting out of bed and into the wheelchair....did I mention you have to wear a seat belt in the wheel chair at ALL TIME even the 6 foot ride to my private bathroom. 
5. So now they have pushed you in helped you stand and wait for it.....
6. they want to pull your pants down for you until you learn the proper way to do it.  Now I never truly considered myself extremely shy but in the throne room, as my Dad used to call it, yes.I am used to a parade of toddlers and dogs following me there but not in. And this crew~they won't even stand outside the door! The nurses in ICU, the ones changing my bedpan gave me more privacy and believe me I thought that was the lowest point of humiliation...not anymore.
7. Once you finish you can't flush as it has to be examined and noted. 
8. They pull up your pants help you into your chair, seat belt on,
9. finagle you to the sink so you can wash your hands
10. then out to your room over to your bed and finally
11. you are back in bed.

 Did that whole routine 3 times................... I now have a bedside commode.  I figure if I could master one in the hospital when I shared a room and had people coming and going  I should be able to do so in my private room.  Oh, yeah, I still have to call someone to watch me use it.

Rehab it isn't pretty and we've only just begun