June 1, 2013

Bring It ~ I Dare You

    Stress is something I have been very concerned about since my stroke in February 2011.  The doctors believed that stress was a major contributor to my having a stroke as I didn't present with any of the other normal indicators.  I've continued to see a stress therapist regularly since then and lately she's been a bit worried that I was getting over-loaded.  Then this week happened....
     I have just survived 4 of the incredible rough days.  Had any of the instances happened on their own they would have been rough to handle,but one on top of the other was sheer hell.
      It all started Sunday morning when Hubby wasn't feeling well.  He looked horrible, was dizzy at times, became nauseous and his blood pressure wasn't pretty.  After four hours (dang that man can be stubborn) I finally convinced him to go to the hospital.  Upon arrival they were working on him like a bunch of army ants.  While I had been worried about his blood pressure it was actually his pulse, which was hovering between 37-42, that had them nervous.  For the next few hours they hardly left his side almost waiting to have to restart his heart, they even had attached disposal defibrillator pads as to waste no time. meds adjusted due to his weight loss to the possibility of needing a pace maker.   Different theories were floated as to why this was occurring.  The most minor being that he needed his meds adjusted to the extreme of his needs a pace maker installed.
     As if all of this wasn't fun enough two of the three kids were almost unreachable by phone.  Em was over 7 hours away at camp training in GA and Sonny was camping with no cell service.  I hated to call either of them but we had decided early on that if any thing ever happened we would let them know from the start so they were always in the loop. Surprisingly once I did tell them I felt a bit of relief that at least they were both on alert and would check back with me regularly.
     After spending hours in the ER Hubby was finally moved to the Heart Floor, and a Stress Test was scheduled for the morning .  The morning, Memorial Day, came and went with no stress test. He was feeling a little better but not much.  The only thing changed was a removal of a beta-blocker from his meds.  Later that day he had an MRI as they were now thinking it could be vertigo. Then TUESDAY happened.
    Hubby had his stress test, chemically induced which is the worst way to have one done, and he was wiped.  He wasn't back in the room 30 minutes when Sonny calls.  We hadn't seen him since he returned from camping. He was calling to say he just learned that he would be leaving for Marine Boot Camp in the morning.  I posted about that yesterday. STRESS??? just a little.  At that moment I had no idea what was wrong with my husband and my son was leaving in the morning for 13 weeks.
     Remarkably over the next 2 hours everything fell together.  Hubby's MRI came back clear.  Sonny was not shipping out.  Hubby's Stress Test came back clear.  Physical Therapist could not mimic vertigo conditions.  Hubbywas sent home.  We didn't have any definitive answers as to what was going on but he was going home.
     Wednesday it looked like things were settling down only to learn the furlow letters were sent.  OH YEAH.  In a sense it was a bit of relief as they've been saying for weeks the letters were coming the following week.  Now the reality of 11 furlow days was sinking in.
   That night just as I was getting ready to make dinner my dear friend calls; her Mom is in the ER can I take her.  I have never experienced anyone having the same toxic relationship as I have with my mom, until that night.  This woman was just out-right mean but in that covered with sticky sweetness type of way.  She didn't keep her comments directed only at Abby.  One of my favorite personal jabs during the night was her comment after learning that I've lost almost 50 pounds.  "Why dear that's more than I even weigh".  My goal for the evening was to support Abby and I came away with the unexpected gift of knowing I am not alone.
Not everyone in the world likes their mother.  Not everyone's mom is nice.
    And of course during all of this I am still balancing Grac's ED.

     So you know what people ~ Bring IT!! If I can survive almost losing my husband, my son possibly leaving unexpectedly, my oldest not being home, my youngest starving herself, and old ladies being mean to me ALL within 72 hours I AM SO MUCH STRONGER THAN I EVER THOUGHT.
     Now if I could only do it all without the dependence on chocolate and bread :)

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