April 25, 2012

Are people really that clueless?

    It amazes me that people can be so rude and think no one notices.  I guess I really shouldn't be surprised by at times it still takes me aback. In the past two weeks I have had run in with people who just are clueless. One I went back at and the other was well a delicate situation.
     The first was at the bank.  Patrick was driving and let me off then parked the car ~ in a handicapped space, which we have a parking tag for.  On most days I don't use the tag but on some days I'm very thankful we have them.  As we were getting ready to leave a noticed a gentleman talking to him.  When we got to the car I asked what he said. Seems the gentleman made the comment that Patrick didn't look handicapped.  OH NO he didn't!!  Considering how crappy I felt lashing out at someone was a welcoming opportunity.  I went back inside and from the door called to the man.  "Sir, I understand you made a comment to my son regarding parking in a handicapped spot? Just so you know not all handicaps are visible.  My son happens to have Spina Bifida which YOU can't see.  He's endured more pain than most men will ever know.  Not only has he overcome that but he's enlisting in the Marines to serve YOUR country.  On top of that he's driving me today because due to complications from my stroke I'm unable to drive.  So next time you think of making a snarky comment remember all handicaps are not visible."  With that I left the bank. I'll admit that was a bit easier as there was maybe 6 customers that day.  As we were getting ready to leave the gentleman came out. I could see Patrick thinking oh no what did she do now.  The gentleman began a huge apology but then pointed out that we didn't have handicap license plates. NO sir we had the blue handicap placard hanging on the rear view but we've taken it off to drive which you are supposed to do.  He then said his goal was to make sure that people weren't using the parking spaces that weren't supposed to. Once again he apologized.  We felt a little bit bad because we couldn't put down the window when he was talking to us because it was broken but didn't feel bad that he had to talk louder to make his apology.
     While that was incredibly annoying at least it was from a stranger.  Today's situation just blew me away as it was someone that we know.  Well I don't know him but my husband does.
     There are some days when my migraines are so bad that my speech is affected.  I usually wind up repeating words or get stuck on words.  This morning was one of those days.  I called Michael to let him know not to call me at lunch when he usually does as I was going to lay down until I had to leave for physical therapy.  Unlike his old shop that had a phone on the work floor to reach him in this new shop I have to call into the office.  Today when I spoke to his boss instead of only using six words - Can I please speak to Michael - it wound up being probably close to 20.  Sure, his boss said.  Maybe he thought he put the phone on hold because the next thin I hear is him mimicking me! This is Michael's boss who is well aware of my situation. I made sure not to cry when Michael got on the phone as I really wasn't even sure whether or not to tell him. When I did tell him I could hear the conflict in his voice.  He was obviously upset with what his boss did yet at the same time this is the man who picks and chooses who gets to work overtime.  That didn't matter he told me he was going to talk to him.
     How could someone who knows me indirectly be so cruel?  So immature, so clueless?  Does he think this is fun for me?  It took me right back to the first weekend I was home from rehab when a door to door salesman called me retarded due to my speech issues.  And my therapist wonders why I hate going out in public


  1. I've seen those rude people about the handicapped plates. Hell, I've been rude about people who haven't had either a placard or a plate... leave the spaces for the people who truly need them. (Have I spoken up? No. Maybe I should -- but maybe I just can't see the placard. Why start something?)

    But the boss? The only thing I can think is that maybe he's uncomfortable and the only way he can express it is by doing what he did. It's HIS insecurity, not a reflection on YOU.

    Hang in there, babe. I don't blame you for staying in. Not when you write such good posts.

  2. Thanks for your support Susan :)

  3. I think sometimes people really are that clueless. Sometimes people are so absorbed in themselves they can't see past their own nose. Rude comes in all shapes and sizes.

    I think it's easier to take rudeness from a complete stranger than someone you know. Your husband's boss's behavior was inexcusable. I'm glad he chose to stand up for you, but I hope he doesn't suffer the consequences.

    I echo Susan's encouragement. Hang in there.

  4. Thank you Denise I appreciate your comment :0)


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