You see I so bravely wrote that it didn't matter what the scale said. Again I didn't expect my actual weight loss to have dropped from 50.8 to 49. See what I get for being arrogant!! I can't embrace that number with pride as I'm so heart-brokenly disappointed.
I don't think I realized until tonight how much I've tied my progress into Meg's recovery and our joint goal of being at a healthy weight. Do you really think she's going to be able to embrace gaining any weight at all after the scene I had today? Great role model huh. Yes she knows that every week the scale isn't my bff but I've reacted like this. So here it is over 12 hours later and I'm still crying as I write this.
I know I'm not giving up. I just don't know how to get past this horrible feeling of defeat.
So I am sorry if the words I wrote in this week's LFLF doesn't ring true, I promise you I believed it when I wrote it