March 12, 2012

Moms Beware you may not like what you read.....


 This post has been coming for quite a while.  I kept putting it off as I was just afraid the subject might offend some people.  Well it is to the point where I sincerely cannot take it ANYMORE!!!
     Admittedly I am the first to share and celebrate when one of my kids does something pretty amazing. As parents we are supposed to be our kids' biggest advocates right!?!  However when oh heavens when... did we start asking the world to celebrate right alongside us when our kids do everyday simple mundane things like, hmmm I don't know, play in their room like a normal child does.  When did we think that the entire world would want to read a blog devoted to the every detailed moment of your newborn?  (ok I can feel the hate level starting to bubble)
     Now there are admittedly incredible blogs out there about family life.  For instance dear friends of ours recently adopted a little girl from Ethiopia. Following them through that process and now watching how their three children are adapting to their new baby sister is intriguing.  It is also something that 99.9% of us are never going to expereince for ourselves.  Amy taking the time to write her blog This is Us gives us a peek into what that family life is like.  Considering that in today's world it is not as common as years gone by for families to remain in the same state never mind same time zone so I completely understand creating a blog about what's happening for distant relatives; it enables them to remain connected with your kids.  But why would you think you need to take your blog worldwide and try to get followers so you can circulate your childs' bathroom activities and playdates to the blogoshpere I just don't get it.
     I digress....
     I truly think that these "photo-crazed*everything my child does is glorious*isn't my child the best" Moms of today's preschool set are possibly creating the most self-centered generation ever.  Now this is not to be confused with the "Me Generation" which applies to those born from 1970~1999.  According to Jean M Twenge, author of Generation Me:  The  Me Generation has never known a world that put duty before self, and believes that the needs of the individual should come first. This is not the same thing as being selfish – it is captured, instead, in the phrases we so often hear: "Be yourself," "Believe in yourself," "You must love yourself before you can love someone else."  Oh no I sincerely believe these Moms may be creating mini ego-monsters.  Imagine what their lives will be as teenagers (run, run now).
     You may be old enough to remember a very popular poem from the 1970's titled Children Learn What They Live by Dr. Dorothy Nolte.  It encouraged parents to install values into their children.  A few lines from the poem include:
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.

     Who could argue with these great statements.  What I believe is that the Moms I'm chatting about have taken each of these statements and fed them steroids.  There has to be some balance.  This is gonna be harsh so you may want to put down the coffee:  Unless your preschooler is a prodigy/true genius (rare) chances are even then they're not the first to do ANYTHING as it has ALL been done before. I'm sorry but it had to be said.  The first time you experience something with your child is special but let's put it in perspective.  Using four crayons instead of three.... not so special and does your facebook really need updating ~ with pics of course??  It is okay to simply and sincerely say "Oh that's nice sweetie" and leave it at that.  I promise your child will not be traumatized.

     What I am saying is if Moms (okay to be fair I am sure there are some Dads out there as guilty) do not teach their kids the life lessons that the world doesn't revolve around them and/or every little thing they do is simply not incredible how are they going to learn to be a part of anything? How will they not develop a superiority complex?  If each and every page of a coloring book Suzie's scribbled on is scanned onto facebook what is going to happen when the teacher doesn't choose one of her pictures for the art show or for even something as simple as the bulletin board?  If scoring a goal against the dog in the backyard is cheered with the same intensity as a World Cup Goal and deserves a blog update complete with pics what is Jimmy going to do the first time the goalie blocks his kick?  These poor kids are destined for some serious meltdowns in their future.
     ~~OK Brain Flash~~  I know what to call these Moms!!  The year 2000 brought us two major reality shows... Survivor and Big Brother.  For the first time every single moment of someone's life was documented by cameras 24/7 for fame and fortune.  That then brought us an onslaught of reality shows as well as the Jim Carrey movie Truman.  So in honor of that wonderful movie I think we should dub this type of parent as TruMoms and TruDads. ~~UMM re-reading this and not so sure so let me know if you come up with something better.
     When discussing this recently with a friend she reminded me ~ Don't forget Tommy is such a miracle to Dick and Jane.  OK sure that's true.  It was a miracle they got married and had a baby.  There were some minor complications along the way but nothing was what we used to call an "Oprah needs to know" miracle.  And let's face it isn't every love story and baby a miracle unto it's own??  If we really want to play that card Miss M is truly a medical miracle however being the third child we have less pictures of her than her older siblings~ so much for that theory.  As with any problem introduced I believe you should offer a solution so here's mine.  I have also simply chosen not to receive every single FaceBook update on a few of my friends currently suffering through this stage.
    So now that I've ranted I simply want to say that if your kids participate in a 15K like Julie's I definitely want to see pics.  If they colored Elmo red... keep it to yourself! (So do you hate me???)

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5 comments:

  1. Totally agree - parents don't realize what a dis-service they are doing by making the world revolve around their child. I was recently friended by my neighbor to find out that her only daughter is going through the potty training stage, complete with pictures of the crap she took in her potty chair...

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  2. If you don't like someone's blog don't read it.. i think your post sounds a little judgmental. Perhaps you don't know the whole story about why they do it, and with all the parents out there who DON'T at all care about their children or neglect them- so what if loving ones share a little too much. Just my thoughts I did enjoy reading your blog & I understand what you are saying but for me, my own mother died at 51.. i wish she had shared things with me, the things at some point perhaps my daughter will appreciate me documenting on my own blog, if God forbid I pass away too early like my own mother. :) Just another point of view. Thanks for reading & sharing yours!

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  3. Manic Missy I appreciate your point of view. You're right there are times when I wish that I knew more. Blogs weren't really my main issue so I may have muddied the waters here. You're right there are way too many parents who simply don't give a crumb about their kids. In all reality the blogs don't bother me as much as the non-stop post 20+ times a day of the moms I was mentioning.
    I also appreciate your solution about not subscribing to those blogs and as a rule I don't. And I have like I mentioned changed my update/status options on those friends who feel the need to update the world every time sweetie grabs a new crayon.
    I am so sorry you lost your Mom at such a young age:(
    Different opinions are what makes the world a more colorful place>> why else would Lowes have over 50 shades of white??

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  4. I'll add my amen to your post. Though the Bible exhorts us to "Love our neighbor as we love ourselves", which implies that we must love ourselves first, it is my experience, that, except in really rare cases, people rarely have any problem with the latter part of that verse.

    I just missed out being part of the Me Generation, and I guess that explains a lot. I would add to the poem, If Children Live with Failure, they learn to Succeed, or something to that effect. When all things are celebrated then a celebration means nothing. I cede the soapbox.

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  5. Christopher great comment. You may stand on the soapbox anytime.

    The line I'd add to that poem is:

    If Children learn to live with the word no they'll learn self-control

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