April 1, 2011

There are some people....

    We have a saying in our house that is saved for very specific people in very specific situations:
There are some people born with a part of their brain missing!!!!

  Now this is not in anyway a crude reference to people with any kind of brain injuries or disorders.  OH NO This is for that very select group of people who for some reason or another have been able to disconnect that part of the brain that creates a normal sense of reality.  We developed this saying a few years back while watching some program on the animal channel.  Maybe it was shark week I'm not sure.  But the people who earn this glorious epitaph are those who chose to let's say swim with the sharks.  I'm not talking about those who are in a steel ~ nothing ain't getting through this ~cage.  NO NO NO I'm talking about those people who seriously SWIM with the sharks.  And then just for kicks sake actually try hitching a ride by grabbing the shark's fin.... are you getting my drift!  Now I am willing to admit that thanks to people like Steve Irwin (who I believe falls into this category) we have been able to learn and see things we might never have seen before... but as tragically unfortunately Steve proved there are serious risks involved.  At least his life served a purpose beyond seeing how far an  idiot can go before really pissing off a Great White!
  So why am I sharing this with you?  Thursday and Friday I had to drive Patrick and MaryEllen down to St. Augustine for their monthly Youth Quake Live show. Here's a link for those of you unfamiliar with this incredible teen ministry Well on the way you pass signs for the attractions St Augustine is famous for.  This way to the Fountain of Youth.  Over here for the Oldest City in America.  You get the idea.  Having lived in Florida for 16 years now I think I've seen it all. NOT There was a new sign on the road today for the St. Augustine Alligator Farm(a must see I'll admit).  
     Now every time we have gone there one of the must see shows is the feeding in the gator pit.  The following announcements are  made before and during the show PLEASE DO NOT PLACE CHILDREN ON YOUR SHOULDERS IF YOU ARE STANDING NEAR THE RAIL!! PLEASE DO NOT SIT ON THE RAILING!!! I think it is pretty obvious as to why they make these announcements.... how many bites do you think it would take a gator to eat your child!!! It never fails but at every show there is some idiot (who must be missing part of their brain) that believes this doesn't hold true for them and the staff stop the show and wait for them to return their child to safety.  Thankfully as far as my research proved no one has dropped their child or fallen in at the St Augustine Alligator Farm proving the theory God sends extra angels to surround fools.  Side note: there were some idiots in Australia who purposely broke into an alligator's habitat... everyone say it with me They were definitely born with part of their brains missing!
     Returning for my reason of this rant.  The billboard I saw Thursday announced: NEW ZIP LINE Open! Yes you and your family for a fee of $65 per person can participate in a 90 minute obstacle type course OVER the Alligator Farm.  I think Jimmy Fallon said it best:  
"An alligator farm in Florida just installed a zip line visitors can ride above the alligator tanks.
It’s like the alligator version of a sushi bar with one of those conveyor belts."  
   So while I am ranting in the car MaryEllen announces she thinks this would be a hoot.  My reply short and sweet~ great enjoy but not while you are living in my house.  OK no prob I'll wait til I am married but you are coming with me is her reply.  Why would I want to do that I ask.  You're going to love this answer~ In case I die don't you want to be there!!  I nearly slammed on the brakes laughing/crying.  So what you are saying that if your line breaks and all the safety equipment fails you think it would be appropriate for me to see you become gator bait!!  Without a beat she answers well at least you'd see me before I died!  And wouldn't you jump in to save me??
  Which raises another question~ at what age is it OK to think before you act if you need to sacrifice yourself for your child?  Wouldn't that be her husband's job at that point LOL  

Oh and just for fun
WJXT reports:
 ~A zip line tour and obstacle course at St Augustine Alligator Farm
 will soon offer the chance to play a real-life game of "Pitfall."

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