April 13, 2011

It absolutely amazes me :0)

     I started blogging at the encouragement of my nurse.  I couldn't communicate very well and she kept talking about how important it was for me to express myself as an attempt to keep my frustrations down.  I really didn't think I had much to say and as I've mentioned before journaling just isn't my thing.  Much to my surprise I have really really enjoyed this blogging experience.
     Here's what I truly had no idea to expect.  The incredible amount of support and feed back I've received.  Of course I expected my close friends to read it from time to time.  What completely blows me away the fact that I have registered followers~ God Bless you :0)  The amazement doesn't stop there.  Since I have started blogging my rants/thoughts/fears have been viewed in over 20 different countries.  There is someone from Denmark who seems to be a fairly regular person.  Now come on you've got to admit that is pretty cool.  I've never been to Denmark nor do I think I know anyone who has (Swiss cheese memory disclaimer here)! 
   I can't tell you how much the responses mean to me.  It's so exciting to log on and see messages on my Facebook regarding how a story touched someone.  Or simply knowing that I'm not the only one who has felt a certain way.   The other day I received an email comparing me to Erma Bombeck. (While she probably kicked in her grave over that one I was so touched)  She was one of the first humor authors I fell in love with and still bring up her dinner roll story for a good laugh before a trip.
   Yesterday I started my Stress Therapy.  I love my therapist already and we wound up going 30 minutes over!  She was asking a lot of background questions.  She was interested in where my support come from.    While I rattled off a list of friends I also realized that it is also you ~ my readers where an incredible amount of my strength during this recovery is coming from.  I can't tell you what it feels like to receive an message from "anonymous" google ID cheering you on!  This person found my blog by mistake and took the time to tell me I made them smile! 
     I'll be honest today was turning into a real pity party.  I woke up (well finally got out of bed) just feeling wiped and frustrated.. I wanted to have b'fast with Meg before school this morning so guilt was poking me as well.  The puppies and watering my citrus trees were momentary distractions but that balloon quickly deflated when I was having trouble on the fasfa website and with the computer.  Being a self declared Math Geek I enjoy doing these things so I truly felt betrayed.  My sole "activity" today was driving Patrick to the DMV which wound up being a waste of time.  After a long day and already picking Meg up from Charlie Brown rehearsal Michael really wasn't up for driving her to Youth.  FYI: we live 20 minutes away so dropping her off and going home just isn't smart.  When one of the kids are at church we hang out at Panera (WiFi).  Tonight wound up being another one of those amazing moments that I so desperately needed but didn't even know.  As I was sitting down 2 beautiful girls come over with huge smiles and tears in their eyes.  Dear friends from church, Hannah and Megan, are hugging and tearing because they are happy to see me.  I haven't seen them in months and they've been praying for my recovery.  That pure love is such a gift.  I can't begin to put into words the feeling of warmth that came over me. 
     I'm telling you about these amazing girls because your notes, email and comments affect me the same way.  I actually look forward to going to the mailbox because much to my continued amazement I am still getting cards.  I received one the other day and it simply said I am praising God for your continued recovery!  It is God who truly deserves all the glory for where I am today.  I am so blessed by friends here and those from, well, all over the world who simply take a few moments of their day to spend with me.

1 comment:

  1. Bren, I understand completely, I feel the same way, when I got that awful comment last week, I was devastated, but there are so many supportive people out there. As you said, I am getting responses from people I don't even know. I look forward to seeing who read the blog and what they had to say, for recovery, it is an awesome tool, one no one would ever even think of!!

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