Transforming Mourning into Memorializing

     This is hard to admit but for the past 9 years the six weeks from November 18th to December 31st I have lived under a very heavy cloud.  I function well and get through the holidays but it is an incredible battle.  Now let me assure you:  Thanksgiving is always on the table, Christmas cards get sent, the tree is decorated, gifts are wrapped and carols are sung.  There is laughing and smiling along the way but most nights I go to bed heartbroken.