April 8, 2014

We've Gone Silver #25yrs

That's right Ladies & Gentlemen, despite the many predictions to the opposite today marks our
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Now if you're honest I bet you've attended a wedding or two and thought "This marriage is never going to last" or at least you've thought that about some Hollywood couples.  At our wedding people not only thought our marriage was doomed but after a couple hours of an open bar were quite comfortable in sharing those thoughts, especially my MIL.  In all fairness she wasn't alone as 3 out of 4 parents weren't thrilled as well but she was the most vocal.
So how did we beat the odds and prove oh so many wrong....
We moved FAR FAR AWAY

We were married on Long Island, honeymooned in San Francisco & Napa Valley and moved to Virginia 2 weeks later.  BEST thing we ever did.  I believe had we stayed on Long Island we would have divorced within a few years.  Starting out on LI was rough financially.  Most of our friends were getting married and moving into their parent's refurbished basements or garages.  That was not even an option in my book.  As you know I've always been very independent and the idea of starting married life living under someone else's roof just didn't work for me.  I wanted to embrace all that it meant to be a wife ~ cooking and cleaning (OK I know you're not buying that part), how can you do that if you're not on your own?
I also think moving away gave us a leg up.  We couldn't run home to our parents if there was a problem. If we had a fight no one was spending the night at their folks to cool down.  We were able to focus on just us being a couple with very limited distractions.  Being in a new place meant lots of explorations as well as developing new "couple" friends.   
This isn't saying being far away was without its drawbacks.  We couldn't be home for every celebration.  We missed just hanging out and relaxing with friends instead of the rushing around to see everyone that our trips home became.  And when the kids came we didn't have the usual line up of free babysitters.
While at Disney yesterday we proudly displayed our Anniversary Pins.  We encountered many well-wishers and some young newlyweds asking for advice on marital bliss.  Here's our top advice (hard learned along the way of course):
1. Accept from the beginning you're each going to have things that's going to drive the other up the wall.  You can choose whether they're annoyances or quirks
2. Never underestimate the ability to step back and laugh at your situation
3. Despite what others say you didn't marry their family.  Do your absolute best to love and respect them.  If all that fails always remember it is that environment, for the good or bad, that turned your spouse into the person you love.
4. (Goes along with 3) When all is said and done it is your spouse that will hold you through the darkest storms, be there when you cry in the middle of the night and watch the dawn rise on a new day ~ not your mom and/or dad, they do that for each other.  
5. Pick your battles. Sometimes, most of the time, it just isn't worth the mess of a fight.
6. Remember you started as a couple and will end that way with kids filling out the middle.  Don't lose your "coupleness" along the way.  We wish we had taken small weekend get-aways when our kids were young. 
I am going to admit that it absolutely rocks to know that we proved oh so many wrong.  And in a moment of completely obnoxious snarkiness I'd like to point out that as far as we're aware each of those family members (our age) who didn't believe our marriage would last are all DIVORCED!!!  Moment over because I'm sorry for the children that are living through those circumstances.  I am very happy to say that not long the wedding after my in-laws commented on the wonderful family we created and hoped their other kids would be so happy.  Even my mother came around at one point, though that wasn't long lasting ~ big surprise.  

Do you know why the 25th Anniversary is Silver?  In Medieval Times anniversaries weren't celebrated annually as they are today. It seems to have come out the Germanic regions where the husband would crown his wife with a wreath of silver.  The silver represented the harmony it was believed necessary to have so many years of married life. 

Don't you agree Hubby should celebrate our Anniversary by
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