What some parents do to their kids

     I will admit it right here and now I tend to be old fashioned in a lot of my thinking.  I like to cook from scratch whenever possible.  I believe in reading the classics.  I believe that families should eat dinner together every night.  I think Christmas cards should come in the mail and be hand written.  I think there's nothing better than homegrown tomatoes. I think old black and white movies should stay black and white.  And I think when naming a baby using a word just because it is a noun doesn't cut it. 

    I just read where Olympic pitcher Jennie Finch and her husband Casey Daigle announced Sunday the birth of their second son ~ Diesel Dean Daigle... 3D.  Are you kidding me....Diesel. 3D!!  What is it with famous people thinking that ordinary nouns are appropriate names for their kids.  Let's face it if Diesel's mom wasn't famous he would get soooo teased at school.  Oh my I am coming up with way too many lines for this one.  Can't you hear some bratty 6 year old teasing Diesel after he passed gas.... My dad says those diesel engines always backfire.  Or, you can always tell when a diesel comes around by the smell.  It is just too easy.
   But seriously what the heck?  Now I know a number of people who have used the names of cities for their kids.  We all know Paris Hilton and Orlando Bloom.  One of Meg's friends was named Savannah because that's where they lived when she was conceived.  Even Brooklyn has become a popular name.  However I'm pretty certain there isn't any child named Hackensack(NJ) or Crapo (MD).
   The thing of it is this isn't even a new phenomena.  I remember hearing my parents talk about Sonny and Cher and their daughter Chastity.  But that was coming out of the hippie age so what do you expect with all that free love drugs and rock-n-roll?  What else could explain Moon Unit and her brother Dweezle?
    Here's my reality check on these wild and crazy names..... who are you trying to impress???? See kids like Apple and CoCo are going to grow up in a very protected little world where no one is going to allow Gwenyth's or Courtney's daughters to be teased.  Fast forward to Centerville, USA.  Surrounded by a class of Olivias, Michaels, Nathans and Emmas they are going to be playground fodder.  This is the pure and simple reality of it.  Now I get passing along family names.  I'm not talking about that.  Or maybe you want your beautiful daughter's name to stand out so you spell it differently (we'll get to that in a bit).  I'm simply trying to understand what in heavens goes through a couple's mind when they settle on the name Pasta!  What dinner or grocery aisle was the inspiration???
   Again maybe I'm old fashioned.  We were playing with baby names once we decided to start a family.  Now this was pre-Internet so we only had baby name books to rely on.  I wanted old fashioned names. And I also wanted our kids names to be connected to family.  Though Emily always had another Emily in her class, when we chose her name it was for my grandmother's best friend (Grandma's name Harriette, was a bit too old fashioned even for me) and uncommon .  What were the odds though that she would have a best friend with the same first and middle name just 19 days younger than her?  Add our Patrick and MaryEllen and it just makes you think we're an Irish Catholic family....NOT!
     Another thing I don't understand is why parents want to mess with the spelling of a traditional name.  Having been a pre-school teacher I can assure you these kids spend so much time correcting things.  I'll admit this may not be so true today in the world of computers.  I had 3 little girls in my class one year who shared a name only in the sense that is was pronounced the same.  Megan, Maegan and Meghan would get very upset if their valentine or birthday party invitation came to them not spelled correctly.
     My last confusion in all of this is when people actually make names up.  Oh well we just love Italian and Thai food so we named her Thalian but we pronounce it Talia.  Really come on I can't get my own church to spell our last name right half the time what are these parents expecting?  Never mind the kid constantly having to correct teachers and other adults to the proper pronunciation of their name.  Sure every kid loves that.
    In 2007 a Chinese couple tried to name their baby @.  The father said that when the letters A T are translated into Chinese it means "love him"  I blame that whole deal on Prince and that symbol period he went through. The Chinese government intervened and said no.
   Would you do this to your child:
 In 1904 Adolph Blaine Charles David Earl Frederick Gerald Hubert Irvin John Kenneth Lloyd Martin Nero Oliver Paul Quincy Randolph Sherman Thomas Uncas Victor William Xerxes Yancy Zeus Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenberdorft Sr., {Germany;} had a Christian name for every letter in the alphabet, shortened it to Mr Wolfe Plus 585 Sr. The world's longest name officially used by a person. At least they're all common names?

One last thought.....
    Girls grow up dreaming of what they're going to name their child.  When was the last time you saw a little girl carrying around a doll named Audio Science?  If you did it was probably Shannyn Sossamon  as a child?