November 29, 2012

Alabama just s**ks** and it is my fault

  OK I take that back.  The state of Alabama doesn't suck nor does the University of Alabama ~ Roll Tide Roll.  What sucks is that my daughter attends school in Mobile, Alabama which is 7 hours away.
     I encouraged my daughter to attend a school far away.  I believe that not being able to come home at the drop of a hat helps to foster a stronger sense of independence.  When I went to school I specifically searched for a college that was as far away from home as possible that allowed me to keep my state scholarship.  SUNY Geneseo was my home away from home for 5 years and the best decision I made.  Unlike my parents who never visited until Senior Year I am an involved parent who is used to supporting my children and their activities. Being 7 hours away this weekend especially sucks :(
     This weekend the University of Mobile kicks off the Christmas season with an incredible concert known as Christmas Spectacular.  For three nights, the school takes over the 3,000+ seat Dauphin Baptist Church with this incredible performance.  The free tickets are usually gone within the first week of their availability in late October.
    2012 will be the 10th anniversary of this concert and has drawn national attention.  Renowned Nashville director Steven Yakes will film Christmas Spectacular 2012 for a television special that will air later in the month on several national satellite stations and local stations according to the school's website. Many alumni are returning to perform.
     If you haven't figured it out yet I CAN'T GO.  I feel like crap.  I've attended the concert the last two years and was planning on going again this weekend.  Life of course has since intervened and I can't make the trip.  We only found this out today.  Poor hubby had to call Emily this afternoon and break the news.  To say it went over like a lead balloon would be an understatement.  Usually I would make the drive myself but after a week of migraines that's really not an option.
     I don't think there is anything worse in the parenting world than disappointing one of your kids. That feeling of failure cuts so deeply.  I'm all for kids learning life lessons and such but not at my expense.  Will she survive ~ of course.  Is this going to send her over the edge ~ not even remotely.    When you choose to attend school far away the one of the most difficult parts is the loneliness that comes from not having "anyone" near by.  Are there going to be friends and such there to cheer her on, most certainly.  But there isn't going to be anyone there JUST for her.  Oh how I wish I had a private plane on call.
You know once I find out the satellite stations that will be airing the special I'll be sharing it with you.  Well for now all I can do is assure myself that she knows she is loved and that we would be there if we could.  ~Wonder how much chocolate I'll need to survive this guilt??

Here's a favorite from the concert 2 years ago I found on YouTube

   

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